Grande Poobah

Is anybody out there?

2009-04-19T17:11:00.002+08:00

GP has been taking a self imposed break from the blogosphere, after the unwelcome discovery of her blog. You know who you are, and if you are reading this I would prefer that you weren't. But then, that's the rule with blogging - you have to put stuff out there and cannot control who comes across it. So tentatively, back into the fray, on the pitch and playing and all those other cliches...

On a more serious note, it does make me think about how inadvertantly exposing the web can be. Solipsistically, one can type away thinking that what gets sent out there disappears into nothingness, where as in fact it's available to all sorts of punters (I was surprised to see someone from the Ministry of Finance in Dubai reading the other day). The part that surprised me was that anyone with an ounce of computer literacy can track URLs (I don't believe the bollocks about finding this from a google search - even people who know me can't do that!)

So - motto for today, anyone who's thinking of sharing intimacies, posting semi nude photos or launching a major confessional, just think twice. GP isn't watching you, but you don't know who is........

Young man - are you listening to me?

2009-03-03T16:36:00.002+08:00

Well, maybe not listening, but certainly observing and watching. Now this - from an 18 year old in the UK

hi, did we chat before? i think u are lovely. could we chat? sorry if i contacted u before. i am attracted to ladies older than me so i hope u dont mind our age difference even if its only chatting

Well, should I? See what happens?? Get arrested and deported for unseemly behaviour????

Money don't get everything it's true....

2009-02-22T08:27:00.001+08:00

Aside from requests for me to enhance people'e Zhongwen, I get the odd other interesting offers. Take this:

ATTENTION..

I am Mr.Akwa Bob.,An Auditing & Accounting Manager at the Foreign Remittance Department of BANQUE DU TOGO- (BT),LOME-TOGO .During my auditing/accounting closing services duties of the year financial report to our bank, I discovered a dormant account datas with a figure amount of Seven Million and Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars ($7.200,000USD)Only belonging to a foreigner named; Mr. Kurt kahle from Germany,a deceased customer of our bank who was involved and died in an Plane Crash event:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm.

The said fund is now ready for re-transfer to a foreign account whose owner will be portrayed as the beneficiary next of kin to the late man. Since we got information about his death,No body has ever come up to claim the fund deposit.From the BCC report,we learnt that all his supposed next of kin died alongside with him at the plane crash. Upon the receipt of this discovery,I personally decided to make this business proposal for you to stand as the next of kin to the Deceased account fund to re-transfer into your bank account for your country.

And Our banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after NINE years, the fund will be transferred into the bank treasury for the Government Ultilization.The request of foreigner as next of kin in this dealing is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner account OK!.. I therefore solicit and ask for your assistance to come forward as the next of kin to the account under my banking experience directive.Note 40% {$2.880,000 U.S.D}will be for you in respect your account provision for the claim and assistance in transfer exercise, while 60% {$4.320,000 U.S.D}would be for me.Note,We have to maintain the confidentiality and secrecy involved.

l am looking forward to your urgent reply.
Yours faithfully,

Mr.Akwa Bob.

Who, I ask myself in bemusement, falls for this shite?? If I had the time I'd love to study the psychology of gullability....

another one bites the dust...

2009-02-21T10:45:00.001+08:00

the latest on the dating trail:

hi
i am forigner live in SZ at hua qiang bei
i am looking for a sex partner and someone who can enhance my Zhongwen, i am fluent in English also.

please let me know if you are interristed...

zai jian!!

Do I want my Zhongwen enhanced?? Could I even perform this act for someone else??? The mind boggles....

Love is on my mind...

2009-02-15T10:57:00.003+08:00

Well, just woken up after an exhausting night spent acting out an elaborate 3 way fantasy with two hot stud muffins. Not entirely sure how I'll get the massage oil stains off the sheets and we may have done some strutural damage to the ceiling with the hoist but worth it...

or

Just woke up after a fun night, met some nice people but no sparks. Extracated myself from the bar after beeing pawed over by an overly keen Icelander, talked to a nice but harrassed divorcee about the challenges of raising kids in HK, did do my bit of getting out there and trying but no dice....

As an aside I did meet a really nice guy on Friday, we chatted and flirted all night, and even if nothing comes of it at least it reassures me that men like this exist in HK.

On Thursday I watched Revolutionary Road, which brought memories of previous failed relationships flooding back to me. The depiction of the slow, choking death of love/lust/whatever was all too real, and reminded me again of the truth that it's better to be honestly single.

Happy VD one and all x

Money, money, money, it's so funny, in a rich man's world....

2009-02-14T10:37:00.003+08:00

Buyer beware!

One of the defining qualities of HK is its sheer accessibility - there's none of the mucking around of commuting to get in the way of doing stuff, and there's an awful lot of stuff to do here. Hence a lot of people run around like blue arsed flies. cramming their days full, truly human doings rather than beings.

Anyhow, for me this has meant pitching up to lots of talks and lectures. Being a bit of a nerd I enjoy learning new stuff. The longer I stay here though, the more my bullshit detector goes off and filters out some of the true crap that people have the cheek to peddle.

Which leads me to a salutory tale. I was invited to an "exclusive" breakfast, hosted by the XL foundation which markets itself as a social entrepreneurial organisation. Their founder is the charismatic, dishy Roger Hamilton. After an, admittedly nice, breakfast, Roger stood up to gave his spiel, which rapidly deteriorated into the crudest sales pitch for XL. I left early.

Imagine my surpirse to find that he's back in town, speaking at this event. A quick google search reveals that he's now banned in Singapore, but somehow not in HK. Needless to say, if you've been invited then I wouldn't bother.

Apologies for lack of smut and gossip - however, I am off to a Valentine's Day party tonight so you never know :-)

Home, home on the range......

2009-02-13T10:26:00.002+08:00

An acquaintance of mine in HK is a property agent. As you can imagine, this isn't a pretty profession to be part of right now. I went along to a couple of events where expensive properties are sold off plan to eager, cash rich Asian buyers. I am now very glad that a voice of reason and caution got in the way and prevented me from ever, ever investing in them.

I saw her recently, looking slightly ashen faced and drawn. Funnily enough buyers are defaulting left, right and centre on these properties (or more accurately, the option to buy a completed property at some time in the future...) as they don't have the readies to fund it. In turn the developers are threatening to sue. She's stuck in the middle. Fun and games.

Anyhow, given this background I was astounded when this piece of marketing puff turned up in my inbox today. Do they not, I ask myself, read them before they get sent out? Would this be the same Australia that has been ravaged by a toxic combo of fires, droughts, rains and god knows what else? Who in their right minds would be in for investing of a piece of this right now??? Answers on a comment please...

You can't always get what you want....

2009-02-11T16:23:00.002+08:00

Or can you?

Being a fan of yoga, positive psychology and all that malarkey (but a long time cynic, ex depressive and pragmatic realist) I'm all for setting your intention, looking for the bright side, managing your assumptions so as to not drag yourself into a trap of your own making and all the negativity and bad karma that goes with it...

However, consistently putting all this into practice is not always a straightforward process. And so it was that I found myself awaiting the boss's visit to HK with a ripe old mixture of trepidation, plummeting confidence and just a dash of panic. Only a small amount of insight was needed to tell me that: a) I didn't think he wanted to help me, b) he would just tell me to get on with it, such that c) I would have to fall on my sword and leave the job, which right now in a global economic meltdown wouldn't be all that great.

A call to a good friend put me right. "Just think about when your conversations with him have gone well in the past. Then do that all over again."

Wise counsel. One very productive lunch later I had:

Reduced my working week to 4 days
Passed on all the grind in my role to another colleague
Refocused the job around a couple of key products and clients
Cut out a chunk of travel
Taken on a global role to drive sustainability

Phew! I feel happier than i have done in ages about my job and genuinely excited about what the next few months could hold. This might of course also give me enough space to focus on those other projects (Work that Wrapper! Find Mr Right) which have been somewhat on the back burner.

Oh yeah - and if you're finding the day a bit stressful, try watching this

Where you from, you sexy thang?????

2009-01-30T19:16:00.003+08:00

Welcome to the world of on line dating. Due to poor editing I am now profiled on two dating sites. One sends me a "quiver" of people they think might be good matches for me. Apart from turning up the occasional giggle (I was sent the profile of a friend of mine recently who was very embarrassed to be outed as an Internet dater quite like that...he'd previously claimed his highly successful dating life was due to being set up through friends), occasionally I get sent highly dubious characters like this:

I am a very happy man, living the busy life with no time to date. I like music and movies and taking long walks. I am looking for a Chinese girl who will be my lover. She must be small but not young, Experienced but not abused. Sexy and willing to do everything I need because I will be giving her everything she needs.

He also adds later that he is "hung like a horse" and that people should contact him if they are "curious about being with a big man".

Now, set aside the obvious (not Chinese, not that small) what on earth would match me with this creature?? Clearly I need to revisit the profile. Or maybe the pool of guys is so small that this nearly complete mismatch (we are at least both looking for humans) is the best the site can do??????

This is right up there with the most offensive direct mailing I have ever received, namely for static caravans in North Wales (I appreciate the non-UK readership of this might not get the full horror - but static caravans are something I might consider in my dotage, not in my sleek Poobarian prime).

And here's to you, Mrs Robinson...

2009-01-24T09:21:00.005+08:00

And so early into 2009, a knock to the Poobarian determination to date. This article appeared in the Guardian, at first sight a puff piece about dating, a few random musings on the difference between men and women, in fact the type of nonsense I could knock out for the Grauniad given enough caffeine, access to some half baked research (wikipedia would do nicely thank you very much) and the sheer cheek to subject the readership of a national newspaper to my half baked views.

ANYHOW, I tormented myself by reading some of the comments (it's the type of article that could be condensed into one line: "Dump all your prejudices/angst/crappy relationship stories/bitter divorce battles HERE!") until I happened, slack jawed, on this comment from one Brit in HK:

Hate to say this...from a 40+ male perspective...the way I am wired...which I presume is very similar to other men for reasons explained by you William...I really cannot think of anything worse than your typical opinionated...me me me...fat 40+ single woman from the UK...no matter how 'available' she is.

A growing number of UK men are partnering with women from different cultures (both in the UK & elsewhere)...black, asian etc Anything other than the fat me me me fat typical native 40+ UK woman.

Just about every Brit male I know that lives in Asia (a large sample I assure you) now talk of the undesireable nature of UK women...they are just not very nice ...either physically or characterwise. They ahve been brainwashed for too long to be un-feminine, to be selfish and put themselves before their family, and to eat rubbish and drink like an alcoholic...which makes them pysically very unattractive. Sorry...but that is the truth...a truth which may hurt some...but a truth nevertheless.

I just wanna be your dog

2009-01-23T08:17:00.004+08:00

In keeping with my new year's resolve to at least date in 2009/year of the ox (year of the fox perhaps?) I'm now taking positive steps down the road of finding mr right. Or mr right now. God help me if it ever gets to Mr Oh all right if you must. Anyway....

The other evening J came over and helped me to post a profile on HK's premier online dating site. She recommended it highly, although in some bizarre mix up she has subsequently been banned for posting unsuitable materials. On this point she was surprisingly quiet. Anyhow, we posted my profile, a couple of photos, and she then counselled me to sit back and be patient.

A whole 2 days later, there have been numerous expressions of interest, and this, somewhat unexpected invite, to which I would welcome your replies:

Hi, I'm a 26 year old latin+asian man.I'm looking for a no strings attached relationship on weekends.

Im a good massuer, in case if you need a hot and steamy massage on weekends. I'm a master conversationist and can be very naughty at times:) .

If you are interested in a personal fun time,do let me know as im open to anything.! Sorry if i offended you.I do have great respect for women.

Just speaking my mind out.

You want it, you got it, you get it for free....

2009-01-20T18:43:00.003+08:00

Well, the results are in, votes counted and data analysed......the survey monkey says:

A whopping 57% of you are daily readers! Is this due to the economic downturn, making some offices a little less industrious, I ask myself?? A surprising 67% are weekly commentators (I can understand if it takes a few days to compose a reply to the insights you've digested..) This of course leaves a shy 33% who have yet to comment - come on you blog lurkers (blurkers? It'll never catch on....), show us the colour of your posts!

In terms of content, sadly (for me) it looks like I'll have to lay off Singabore for the time being, with an unarguable 60-odd% advising me to give the micro dictatorship a break. The most requested topics are, inconsistently, boys and work/life balance - my guess is that if I get the latter right you'd hear a lot more about the former. Fortunately (for me) you are also tolerant of my rants on the environment and Asian media - both of which scored 62.5% in the coveted "comme ci comme ca (it's french you know)" category. I'll take that as carte blanche (sorry) to carry on.

When given free range you have unanimously demanded more gossip, with some being more specific ("Sapphic side", "living the high life") or simply "juicier". Gossip just about me or any old crap I can dig up? In true Poobarian fashion, I'll do my best.

So thank you, dear reader, and as we march shoulder to shoulder into the Year of the Ox/Epoch of the Obama, I'll do my very best to dally with as many boys (and girls) as possible, whilst maintaining impeccable work/life balance and learning to love Singapore. It's a big ask, but somebody's got to do it!

say that you want me, say that you need me

2009-01-15T20:16:00.000+08:00

It's come to my attention that there's a problem in the market, and that things are not quite as rosy and robust as they should be. Being a forward looking Poobah, I predict that the problems currently vexing the financial markets will soon make their way to the blogosphere. Maybe there will be a downturn in visits to the site? Maybe bloggers will be more cautious with their comments, and refuse to "spend" thier opinions so freely? Who knows?

Therefore I thought it timely to conduct a customer survey, oh loyal and respected readership....have a go at this and I'll do my best to respond to your needs :-)

Happy new year! Happy new year! may we all...

2009-01-12T11:38:00.002+08:00

Erm....it's a while since I've heard that ABBA track so sadly the rest of their penetrating, insightful lyrics will have to remain enigmatic. I think there's something in there about when "every neighbour needs a friend" and "finding peace". It sounds about right, really, nothing particularly pertinent to global economic meltdowns, but then again maybe it's hard to make that scan properly in a pop tune.

ANYWAY, having checked the answers to the Christmas quiz, added up all results carefully and considered the tie break answers (thank you all for your efforts) I'm besides myself to announce that Mr Anon Y Mouse is the proud winner. However, I suspect his health regime may make eating the whole mince pie in one go a challenge. Still, I'm sure you'll all want to join with me in congratulating him on this exciting prize! Hurrah!

As an aside, Evie, where to find pilots??? Oddly I didn't set out to focus on this group so any advice I have won't be that useful. However, I can soundly advise not befriending two in the same fleet. That makes things unnecessarily stressful, as the last thing one would want is to have them flying a plane together and have talk turn to girls.....

Are you ready for this?

2008-12-19T23:25:00.004+08:00

Oh my....It's quiz time... This year's prize is some M&S mince pies, which I will warm for the winner personally. For those reading from Tuzla, the prize is only available in HK.

Pencils at the ready? Here we go.....

Biology

GP is now honorary auntie to many new babies born in the past year. What is the sum of all weights of new borns in 2008?

a) 0 - 25kg
b) 25 - 50kg
c) 50 - 75kg
d) 75kg upwards....

Bonus point: Is the sum weight more or less than GP's mass a) pre sabbatical b) post sabbatical?

Personal and Social Education

GP has had a mixed year WRT "matters of the heart".

Of the partners GP has dallied with, how many have been employed by Cathay Pacific?
a) 0% b) 25% c) 50% d) 75% e) 100%

Which of the following have been the most significant development in GP's personal life?

a) experimenting with BDSM?
b) experimenting with her sapphic side?
c) experimenting with ignoring guys when they are clearly behaving like jerks?
d) experimenting with dating nice guys for a change?
e) experimenting with blatantly getting overseas friends to arrange promising dates for her?
f) all of the above?
g) none of the above?

Bonus point: What is the percentage likelihood of GP coming clean and answering the above question honestly when challenged?

Geography

Which city state remains GP's most hated place in all of Asia (clue: the feeling is mutual - a mildly critical article on this very blog led to its being banned in said location)

Social History

GP managed to make new friends this year! Is she now on first name terms with:

a) the cute guy who runs the Diageo bar in Heathrow T5
b) the staff in the Mandarin Oriental Singapore's Executive Lounge
c) the yoga teachers at Pure
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

Society

How have GP's attempts to reduce her carbon footprint gone this year?

a) OK - those energy efficient light bulbs make a huge difference!
b) Could be better - maybe make sure you consistently turn the flat screen TV off instead of leave it on standby?
c) You were even trying??? - the BA and Cathay Silver cards tell their own story here..

Bonus Conundrum: GP is known to those in work as a keen green. However, she also has the highest carbon footprint of any consultant in the business! How would you resolve this apparent hypocrisy? Please show your workings.

PE

This year GP has stacked it on, weight wise. To remedy this situation she has launched the fledgling WTW! (Work That Wrapper!) programme. Which of the following has the largest impact?

a) twice weekly personal training sessions with Steve the Sadist?
b) as often as possible power yoga with Bendy Wendy the yoga guru
c) clearly none of the above as GP has twice (TWICE) been asked this year if she is pregnant. Humph.

Tiebreak statement: Complete the following....."La Grande Poobah will have a cracking 2009 if she......."

All, a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy 2009. Thank you for reading.....

You spin me right round...

2008-12-12T22:32:00.004+08:00

It's appalling how quickly the status quo establishes itself. Plus ca bloody change. A friend this week was kind enough to remark that I still had my sabbatical "glow" about me - I love her dearly but frankly this is fanciful talk...

This week I had to go to Singapore. Of all the potential business trips, one to Singers fills me with most low level horror. It's mainly the horrid, horrid lacklustreness of the place, coupled with the docile population and the incessantly humid weather. Throw in the Straits Times and you've got a Poobarian nightmare of enormous proportions.

I knew something was up with my transition back into work, when I found myself almost in tears in a call to my boss this week. We'd had a shockingly poor (even by our standards) conversation last week, and this week was more of a make up call. Yes, I know how that makes me look. Anyway, having thought through carefully how I would position my request to go part time, move away from leading the office and so on instead I relied on the time honoured tactic of getting choked up and going for the emotional jugular.

Surprisingly effective.

And so, despite more tears about the prospect of another Singapore trip, things are looking up for change.

And this, rather optimistic outcome, is the single thing that stopped me punching Santa's little elves (read, two Singaporean chicks mincing about in ill fitting Santa suits) as they pranced around outside a monster gingerbread house in the foyer of yet another premier hotel somewhere in Singapore's CBD.

Guess who's back??

2008-12-06T14:57:00.003+08:00

Well.......

It's been a mixed week.

On the one hand, any job at the moment is a gift, especially one that is well paid (in my world - I still compare myself to the NHS salary I would be on and feel truly blessed). I have a great deal of autonomy. I'm well regarded by my clients and enjoy working with them. I get to travel widely in Asia.

On the other.....I have a terrible, energy sapping relationship with my boss such that I dread having to speak to him. My team is well meaning but passive, requiring huge efforts from me to get performance from them. I get overloaded with BAU, often have to travel, and feel unsupported in what I'm doing. And the core work is an odd mixture of stressful yet boring...

So what to do? I think the answer is - nothing until after Christmas. Can't let this be seen as back to work blues. But also I can't sign up for more of the same that will inevitably lead to burn out, stress and unhappiness.

Promise that future posts will play more to the VLP audience - MSS, line up those single Kiwi guys that you know, and I might also share a tale or two of midnight drives around HK.....

Get up, get up - get outta your lazy bed....

2008-12-01T08:26:00.004+08:00

Today is December 1 - 3 months exactly from 1 September.....

End of sabbatical.

I've flossed my teeth, moisturised my feet, dressed, redressed, packed my bags, taken all my goes on scrabble, read the paper, had a cup of tea, dried my hair nice.... It's getting to that horrible point where I can't procrastinate any more and will have to actually go back into the office.....

Gulp.....

I remember, I remember when I lost my mind

2008-11-28T13:14:00.003+08:00

You may have noticed that I have a thing about green issues. You may also have noticed that I'm not all that impressed by the approach our great leaders are taking to these matters in Hong Kong.

Two small examples. This week there was a laughable article in the SCMP (again....) where a drop in energy consumption in HK over the past few months was somehow spun into a problem....Er, hello??? Isn't energy reduction and conservation something we're all gunning for these days? As a pertinent follow up, I've just collected my electricity bill. Due to the government's decision to subsidise electricity to the tune of HK$300 per month, I now pay nothing for electricity.

Complete lunacy. Mind you, if anyone would like to pop over and charge up phones, ipods, cameras etc and watch TV, all courtesy of our benign and generous leadership then please feel free.

word up! it's the code word....

2008-11-24T04:15:00.001+08:00

and another thing....

my word's arrived early this year. It's "kindness". Nice huh?

Is there anybody out there?

2008-11-22T05:05:00.003+08:00

Now, in the spirit of sharing, and also cognisant of the research showing that public goals are more likely to be enacted, I thought I'd role out some of my ideas as my lovely, lovely sabbatical draws to a close, see what you think of them and then see if I can make them happen....

This sabbatical has been bloody marvellous and has helped me to realise some fundamental truths for me.

1. I want to have more time to explore other stuff.
2. I don't mind taking a pay cut to do it.
3. The stuff that I think is really important takes big chunks of time to do.

So - what chance being able to negotiate a sweet annulised contract with work? Do you think it's got legs? How do I do it? It may all be helped by a) looks like I'll have a new boss when I'm back b) work surely want to make some cost savings and c) my contract is up for negotiation in April anyway.

Watch this space, friends, watch this space!

You're so vain.....

2008-11-15T21:30:00.002+08:00

Would you Adam and Eve it?

Having done the decent thing and turfed Mr Wrong out of my life, he's only gone and got in touch again....

I'm proud of myself for sticking to my guns (to be honest, not that hard when I'm on a different continent) but is it bad that, even as I was crossly telling him to stop treating me with contempt, my ego was puffing up too?

Step it up, step it up it's alright...

2008-11-11T23:19:00.003+08:00

One of the most important life lessons I've learned in the past couple of years, thanks to LottieP, is the importance of stepping over things, rather than running headlong into them.

On this trip back oop north with my family, I realised to my surprise that this was one that I could indeed have learned from my family many years ago. Now, it shouldn't come as any surprise that the secret to reasonably functioning family relationships is the ability to ignore or tune out the more extreme or annoying habits and traits of one's family. You know, Dad's casual homophobia, Mum's ditziness, that kind of thing (worth noting at this point that it's just as well, of course, that I'm perfect and impose none of this burden on my family, oh no).

Anyway, as we drove away from Blackpool (allegedly the UK's premier tourist hotspot, but having seen the prom I have my doubts) we settled into the car journey home. As is usual, my brother was in charge of choons. As is also customary, he took no notice of the preferences of the audience and proceeded to treat us to a medley of Village People tracks (innofensive, crap), followed by this lil' number from Peaches and Iggy Pop (even by my very liberal standards a litle eye opening) before rounding off with this.

Hilarious. And somehow, throughout it all my parents didn't blink once, stepping over the whole smutty, bawdy mass with aplomb.

Memories...may be beautiful and yet...

2008-11-10T22:25:00.005+08:00

GP is on her autumn sojourn at Poobah Senior Mansions, and performing the unenviable (and inevitable) task of clearing out junk that has accumulated here. Some of this is extremely easy (bog standard kitchenware? Manky old rug??). Others however....

What to do with the mountain of photos that's built up, reminders of holidays and relationships past? Fraught Mummy, what to do with a stack of fantastic photos of running along beaches in Sierra Leone, and refereeing football matches in the pouring rain in Coconut Farm shanty town? MancSoulSister - where to put the unbelievable shots of us at 18, celebrating Val's birthday at a Chinese restaurant in New Mills (funny to think how exotic that was at the time). I've just waded through a mountain of photos of my first trip to Asia - 1997 - didn't quite make it to HK then but have great shots of China, Laos, Cambodia.....and the guy I was there with...

Even more poignantly (for me) - what to do with the billet doux from my relationship with JLow, which surprised me when I found them lurking in a pile of mementos? Evidence that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't always a complete tosser, and even, at some point, didn't hate me quite so much as he clearly did at the end?

And what to do with a sad, sad diary, chronicling depression, the route in but also the route out? It's never going to be for anyone's eyes but mine (you think this blog is badly written....) and given its contents I don't want to immerse myself in it again. Neither do I want to consign it to the bin......

Today's conundrun, then, is how to honour, remember and celebrate the past, without glorifying it, wallowing in it or otherwise feeling beholden to it. And given that, by my reckoning, it's now 11/11 in HK, this seems like an appropriate question on which to finish this post.

What a waste.....

2008-11-04T16:48:00.001+08:00

Thank you SCMP! From today's paper:

I was saddened to read your story on the decline in waste-paper recycling ("Waste recyclers plan protest as some exporters halt collections", October 29).

Presumably the lack of a local market for recycled paper products is in part a cause of the decline in recycling. I am always alarmed that it is so difficult to find recycled paper products, particularly for everyday items.

The versions available in high street supermarkets are usually made from 100 per cent virgin wood pulp (unbelievably, a fact boasted of on the packaging).

As the awareness of the importance of maintaining trees as a critical component of global ecosystems increases, it is incredible to me that recycled products are not more widely available.

GP, HK

when the leaves turn from green to brown...and autumn shades come tumbling down....

2008-10-29T15:15:00.004+08:00

Oh it's been a while since I've bothered the SCMP, but a headline today has shaken me into action. Here's the letter. Replies and responses hopefully to follow.

I was saddened but not surprised to read your story re the decline in waste paper recycling in today's SCMP (Waste recyclers plan protest as some exporters halt collections). Presumably the lack of a local marked for recycled paper products is in part a cause of the decline in recycling?

I am always alarmed that it is so difficult to find recycled paper products in Hong Kong, particularly for everyday house hold items such as toilet paper, kitchen towels and facial tissues. Not only are recycled paper products only available in luxury stores such as 360 or GREAT (as far as I know), the versions available in high street supermarkets are usually made from 100% virgin wood pulp (unbelievably, a fact proundly boasted of on the packaging).

As the awareness of the importance of maintaining trees as a critical component of the global ecosystems that we are all dependent on increases, it seems incredible to me that recycled products are not more widely available to HK consumers.

Yours faithfully

Grande Poobah,
1 Grand Poobah Towers, the Island, the Earth, the Universe

Let's go sufing now, everybody's learning how

2008-10-27T21:47:00.002+08:00

When I kicked off this sabbatical, one of my intentions was to do the stuff in HK that I don't have the time or energy for when I'm working. And so this weekend I headed off to Sai Kung country park to surf and camp out.

We were initially a group of 7, connected through yoga. At the ungodly hour of 7am we met in Central, the remnants of Saturday night streaming home as we headed out to the country. 45 minutes in a cab, followed by 15 on a boat and we were mooring up on a tiny pier to hike over to Tai Long Wan beach.

Sunday night, we pitched our tents and enjoyed a day's surfing followed by a spliff and beers on the beach. After dinner at a local noodle bar we headed back to camp, lit a fire and lay back, watching the stars (in Hong Kong! Who'd have thought it?) before heading to bed, tired and happy, at 9.

This, for me, is one of the amazing things about Hong Kong. Tai Long Wan (Big Wave Bay) is about as remote as you can get in HK. There are no cars, roads, few houses and today, Monday, no people either, save for a few other lucky souls who could afford to spend their time lounging on a beach and surfing. It's remote enough that you have to watch out for wild pigs (one was round our campsite and apparently they get nasty) and snakes (one of our party found out the hard way and got bitten - he'll live).

And love, love, love is a dangerous drug....

2008-10-21T23:56:00.004+08:00

Yes it is. Love or lust....both will undo the best intentions and sober resolutions of your average Poobah...

Note to self: never drink and blog. Second note to self: never underestimate the speed of the blogosphere to transmit info globally (hello, Tuzla!)

Regular readers will be glad to know that, after taking advice from a select group of trusted friends, I've done what I knew had to be done anyway.....Stop this madness in its tracks and tell the chap concerned that it's over. Finito.

Can't pretend that it doesn't hurt, can't pretend that a fair chunk of me is waiting for his text and can't pretend that it will be easy to say no if he does get in touch.

However, let's return at this point to the golden rules of relationships:

1. Self preservation
2. This too will pass
3. Be brave

Any other words of wisdom gratefully received at this somewhat difficult time.

The times, they are a-changing....

2008-10-21T22:32:00.001+08:00

It's a tough lark this sabbatical business, not having anything in particular to get up for and generally loafin........

Well, no, not really. Although it is taking some getting used to being able to sleep in and not having anyone to answer to apart from myself.

The most shocking part is realising the stress that work has added to my life on a daily basis. Apart from a staggering weight gain (which I largely attribute to my routine being shot to pieces by the amount of work travel I've had to do, coupled of course with a dip in Poobarian will power) I've also been told that my posture is shot (due to the amount of time I've been spending at a key board - so must stop this too soon) and my back is so stiff and immobile (due to stress) that it's going to take some serious effort to sort out. Brilliant.

I appreciate that this isn't going to get me any sympathy (!) nor do I seriously ask for any, however it's not a bad time to just reflect on the absurdity of modern life (for us priviliged westerners anyway), and the way it makes feeling good and content a near impossibility.

I wrote the first part of this blog some time back, and then, as I sank into sabbatical time (approx 0.25 the pace of work time) somehow didn't finish or post it. Now, due to popular demand (!) here it is. Since then, I've also visited a Chinese medicine doctor who's told me that my kidney system is weak (this is normal for stressed out Western wage slaves). I've also been an interested bystander as the credit fueled, market uber bubble has finally popped, showering us all in its aftermath. yuk.

Now, I don't want to come over as some sort of sub Mail on Sunday columnist (God forbid) but isn't there some way that we can organise ourselves better? I'm rereading (ok, reading) Marx and feel bewildered by what's happening.

mama mia! here i go again.....

2008-09-25T09:53:00.003+08:00

Last night I saw a movie that's still playing on my mind.

Sharkwater, as the name would suggest, is about sharks, how they live and how they're being finned to the point of population collapse. This is both sad and, from an ecological standpoint, dangerous.

HK is the main trading point for fins, and within a short walk of my new pad I could buy fins openly from one of the many stores that line the streets here. And a bird's nest or two to go with. Nothing illegal about it here.

Part of the film focused on the activities of Sea Shepherd, a direct action charity that puts itself and its boats on the line to stop illegal fishing globally. Earlier this year they chased a Japanese whaling boat around the pacific and successfully stopped its catch. This film showed some heart breaking footage of them pulling up long lines (60 MILES OF LONG LINES) that were illegally catching fish (including shark) off the coast of Costa Rica.

Needless to say, this extreme action has struck a chord with GP's more extreme personality traits, and this morning finds me signing up as a supporter of theirs, and looking into becoming a crew member....

I believe in miracles....

2008-09-22T18:43:00.002+08:00

Moving home is a majorly stressful life event.

I am in the process.

This time last week I was packing up my old flat, under the supervision of one Mr Miracle, a HK removals guy recommended by a good friend of mine.

Turns out the name is well earned. Mr Miracle turned up, moved all my furniture single handed (I had assumed it was Mr Miracle and his team of Miracle Workers, but no), and, as we rattled down the road in his clapped out van, me clutching onto my peace lily, he whipped out a set of testimonials from happy patients he's treated.

In one of the more bizarre dual careers I've come across, it turns out Mr Miracle is both a removals guy and a faith healer.

Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese...

2008-09-02T13:29:00.002+08:00

One of the crueler pass times that expats get up to is laughing at the standard of English of the locals.

As someone who can speak rusty French and German, and had to give up on Cantonese when I got my tones horribly confused and said "cock" rather than "nine" to a group of bemused business men (you think in the context of a lift I would have got away with it, but they can be unforgiving about this sort of thing...) I am generally pretty tolerant of anyone's attempt to speak English, as I don't think I've earned the right to have a giggle or criticize.

However, browsing the furniture ads (moving house means I've got to shift a lot of furniture quickly) I was surprised and a little disgusted to find someone proudly offering a "SOFA CUM BED".

Should you want it, you do have to trek to Lantau to collect :-)

Slave to the rhythm....

2008-08-30T08:58:00.003+08:00

After a long wait, several false starts and a bout of arguing with the boss, GP is now on sabbatical for 3 month. 3 months! Blimey.....

My enlightened employer (I honestly mean that with no irony) allows us all to take a 3 month, paid sabbatical every 4 years of work. This is in part a working break - developing IP for the business, furthering our own interests and so on - but also about recharging and taking a big step back from the day to day grind of consultancy.

The furthering interests part of the sabbatical fell into place quite quickly - I'll be pursuing a course in Sustainability. Ironically I will have to fly to the UK 3 times in 3 months to do this (OK - I chose to do that, and I'm currently looking at the best way of off setting all the CO2 and guilt that comes with it).

The recharging part is proving more tricky. For someone who is used to racing around from one thing to another, and often at the beck and call of clients and so on, suddenly not having a full diary is, well, scary....

Did I mention that I wasn't expecting to get any sympathy for this post?

Let's get physical, physical....I wanna get physical!!!!!!

2008-08-23T17:51:00.003+08:00

GP is used to being, if not super healthy, then at least in some sort of shape.

At school and through university I loved sport, all types, and would spend most days playing something. Netball was always my main sport, but I'd happily pitch up and make the numbers for just about any team sport going. And so, I'm an enthusiastic amateur at hockey, rowing, rugby, softball etc etc etc.

In my early 30s I discovered running. The job got in the way of committing to regular practices for anything, and if there's something that does get my goat it's letting people down and not being able to train properly. Not on for a team sport. However, one thing running has going for it is that it's 100% portable, and, with a bit of determination you can fit it around any schedule. For a couple of years I REALLY got into running, completing 2 marathons and numerous halves. It helped that a group of us were all keen, and would go running together. I must have been really fit, although irritatingly I didn't realise it at the time. We'd go out and run 2 - 3 hours no problem, for goodness sake!

Anyway, then to HK and discovering outrigging. Wonderful sport, and, almost more importantly in the surreal place that HK can be, wonderful, grounded people too. It's kept me fit and sane for the past 3 years.

Now unfortunately 2008 has not been an auspicious year for GP's fitness, and more importantly figure. A bout of flu, a lot of travel and too many nights out have all taken their toll. Finally I have reached a tipping point where something has to change. This project (provisional title: "Work that Wrapper!") has been on the blocks since, oh, January, when I bought a heart rate monitor and tiny ipod thing that I can go running with. However, WTW! has now begun in earnest due to 1) a call from my gym to check I was ok as it was so long since they'd seen me 2) just seeing too many photos that didn't show a version of me that I'm happy with and 3) 3 long glorious months that I'll be on sabbatical and so therefore able to spend the time exercising (amongst of course other things - watch this space..)

And so today, I was out on the water, paddling in the glorious post typhoon swells, for an hour wearing my heart rate monitor. I know we have to start somewhere, and I was pleased to see that by the end of the session I'd burned off a mighty 701 calories. The more depressing figure was the "time in zone" stat - i.e. when your heart rate is raised but not pounding, and when you're really improving your fitness.

Of the 1.06.09 duration I was in my optimal training zone for...................2 minutes 32 seconds. Hurrah!

You are the wind beneath my wings....

2008-08-22T18:47:00.004+08:00

There is a Typhoon 9 signal currently up in Hong Kong, and we sit in the eye of Tropical Storm Nuri. Typhoon 8 is enough to shut every thing down. Typhoon 9 - well, reminds me of that bit in This is Spinal Tap where the bassist (Nigel, perhaps?) is trying to explain why his amp goes up to 11....

Anyway, as someone who used to find big weather really, really scary (tears at too much rain for example) the thought of a T9 was a bit, well, awe inspiring. However, as this photo from the west wing of Poobah Chalet shows, the reality (so far at least) just isn't all that

Mind you, it's suddenly gone awful dark outside (and not just because it's night time, I'm at least wise to that one...) so maybe we're in for some big, big weather after all (watch this space!)

We're wide awake! It's good to know we're ready and we're wide awake!!

2008-08-18T02:56:00.007+08:00

GP is just back from yet another trip to the UK - somehow in my efforts to green my lifestyle I'm managing to gain a carbon footprint par excellence (that's French, you know) whilst in between times staying in luxury, and therefore almost by definition wasteful, accommodation en route (oops! there I go again....)

The reason for going back this time was, primarily, to attend a friend's wedding, although I was lucky enough to be able to legitimately tack on a week in the London mother ship, so that I could a) see close friends, b) make sure my face is still known to the powers that be and c) avoid having to take the flight back quite so soon.

The wedding was a poignant one. The groom is a very close personal friend of mine. Almost 20 years ago (!) we dated, and memories of those 6 months are very, very fond for me. He was the first person I really went out with, and we had a wonderful time. We were together during and just after our A level results, splitting up because sensibly we realized that we were far too young to be making any sort of commitment to each other. On the day we parted, I cried my heart out. It was even worse when I got back after my first, unhappy term at university to find that he'd already happily shacked up with someone else.

Fortunately I don't carry a torch for him, lest the weekend could have been frankly unbearable. Any romantic interest between us has gone long since, to be replaced by a deep and abiding friendship. He and his family are close to me, and I feel truly blessed that they are part of my life. However I do miss the companionship and intimacy that were core parts of our relationship - even though it was only 6 months, and it was a long, long time ago, those are the aspects that I miss most and which are conspicuously lacking in the various romantic entanglements that GP finds herself in at present. Of which more, no doubt, in another post.....

Still, the reason for these musings right now (1.16 am) is that the dreaded jet lag is doing its worst and I am perky as you choose, nowhere even close to wanting to sleep - despite being up all day and not even having an afternoon nap. Any advice on how to remedy this is much appreciated. Especially given the amount of travel I'll be subjecting myself to over the next 3 months.

Born in the USA.....

2008-08-14T22:23:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I had dinner with a very good friend of mine who has just had her first child.

She is Norwegian. Her partner is American. They are not married. The baby was born in London.

We got onto the subject of nationality. Currently the baby is stateless whilst the parents "discuss" various options. This whole process was fascinating to me - one thing I've recognised since being out of the UK is how very British I feel, and particularly the values I associate with Britishness.

British nationality is not a given, as neither parent is themselves British. They have to prove that they have "settled" in the UK for them to be able to apply for British citizenship for her. Should be no problem, and then she would have a very acceptable passport that would give her easy access globally (importantly particularly to former British colonies).

She could be Norwegian. This would give her a very valuable passport, easy travel to most states globally and no outstanding vendettas with other nations to worry about.

Finally, last but not least, she could apply to be American. Only the father thought this was a good option. He has a visceral desire for his daughter to be an American citizen. He tried to argue this from a logical perspective (she will never need to apply for a green card, visa application costs for US citizens are lower than for many other countries) but unfortunately for him any logical, positive reasons are more than outweighed by the fact that, if the poor girl becomes an American citizen she will then be liable to pay US tax wherever she works in the globe unless she buys herself out of this automatic penalty to the tune of US$500K.

OUCH! Imagine dealing with a stroppy teenage daughter when she realises the very special coming of age present that daddy has encumbered her with.

Needless to say the argument remains unresolved (straight into the Too Hard Box) and so poor baby Ingrid remains stateless for another day.....

It's just a jump to the left.....

2008-08-06T13:25:00.001+08:00

Whilst we're admiring totalitarian regimes with a penchant for collective activity, seems timely to pay homage to that which all should aspire to - I give you the 60th birthday celebrations of North Korea.....

Who do you think you are?

2008-08-05T20:18:00.005+08:00

I love gambling. Not sure where this one comes from, but I've always found the element of chance and the opportunity to derive great fortune utterly alluring. On the few occasions when I played the National Lottery at home I also had a completely irrational belief that I would win the thing. Imagine my disappointment...never even a tenner....

My weakness in this area has also led me to casinos (one particularly memorable trip involved an all nighter in a Latvian Mafioso enclave, playing blackjack after the Eurovision song contest). I think however, that a couple of recent trips to the horror that is Macau have now cured me of my habit. Still have a fondness for the gee gees however, although my tactic of picking the "pretty one" rarely pays off.

I now like the idea of placing bespoke bets, the type where you wander into a bookies and discuss an event. One I've been thinking of placing involves putting money on the current business leader most likely to end in jail. Surely rich pickings to be had here? My favourite, so much so that he's probably an odds on certainty, is Michael Leary, the excorable CEO of Dan Dare RyanAir (the worst airline I have ever flown with - and that's a list that includes AeroFlot when Russia was still communist, Sierra National Airways, Merpati - informal slogan, "we're Merpati and we fly if we want to" etc etc etc). And this article gives you some flavour of why his days of freedom are numbered.

Five gold rings!!!!!

2008-08-05T10:59:00.003+08:00

Oh blimey there's only three days to go to the Olympics and for the first time ever I'll be living in the same country that they're taking place in and how exciting is that!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, naturally, a lot of attention has been focused on what this means for China, and how they will handle the scrutiny that will come with having the Olympic circus turn up to town and rampage through Beijing. I, for one, hope that it goes well for them. The arguments about whether or not the games should be politicised are completely fatuous (the games always have been, surely?) but the sight of the Western press pack circling round clearly hoping for some juicy scandal to blast over their front page puts my teeth on edge. Leave the Chinese alone for God's sake!!! Let them have their coming out party in style, and don't give ammo to those who would want them to clamp down yet further in terms of freedom of speech and openness by going for the cheap shot of a lurid headline. Tomorrow's chip wrapper after all.......

Anyway, amongst all the hullabaloo, I'd almost forgotten that I should be whipping myself up into a nationalistic fervour about the UK's medal prospects. They are slim, granted, and not in exactly mainstream sports, but I think I may have found my top tottie for the games to concentrate my attention on for the next couple of weeks.

All day, and all of the night.....

2008-08-01T19:54:00.004+08:00

OK, I admit, the unrelenting sun, sheer efficiency and super smooth service were beginning to work their hallucinogenic magic on me, were it not for one thing.....

Singapore celebrates its 43rd birthday on August 9th. Happy Birthday etc. One of the highlights of this is the National Day Parade, preparations for which are running non-stop outside my (luxury) bedroom window.

The parade itself is being celebrated on the largest steel floating platform anywhere, ever (or something) which I've read somewhere is capable of supporting the weight of 4 tanks (not to forget now, that Singapore still has National Service, and presumably, a well appointed army and navy with all the latest gadgets). The light show, music and choreographed water display look great, and obviously I took a particular interest in the men marching round in uniform/riding motorbikes and so on that were practising on Wednesday.

No, the bit that's getting my hackles up, and reminding me of dim distant Orwellian novels, is the singing. Right now, as I type, it's a poppy song with the key lyric "One nation, Singapore!!!" and yesterday I grinned and bore what I think might be the national pledge- truly ominous... In preparation, you can learn the lyrics to this year's songs here

Sing, sing a song, make it simple, to last your whole life long!!!!!

2008-07-26T18:57:00.006+08:00

Singapore. Singabore. Disneyland with the death penalty.

Before moving to Hong Kong, I thought it and Singapore were same same. City states, in Asia, ex colonies, financial/business hubs. National pastime = shopping. What could differentiate??

Having now a touch of experience, I know. I've grown to treat trips to Singapore with a mixture of dread and leaden anticipation. Dread as my time is usually accounted for before I land, and I have no time to myself, leaden anticipation as this place can be so, so dull....This time my feelings were heightened as the full enormity of the trip (10 whole days!!!) came on the back of the freedom, exhilaration and sheer beauty of Mongolia. A panicky email to friends to recommend "things to do" whilst in Singapore ensued - I was seriously worried that I might actually die of boredom whilst here...

And then, in the manner of most things, the cards fell in a very different way and I began to appreciate its charms....Aided by a limo pick up from the airport (seamless), a stay in an amazing hotel and then the fortuitous appearance of many friends over the weekend makes me wonder what all the fuss was about....

And if I only could, I'd be running up that hill....

2008-07-21T10:40:00.002+08:00

hello all

back, rested and refreshed from a sojourn of reflecting on life and stuff in the wilds of mongolia (there's just so much of it - it certainly impresses the smallness of us WRT everything else....)

Anyway, back to more profane matters - in the ongoing, informal competition for who has the most bonkers ex, I give you a bone fide story about a guy that a very good friend of mine had a thankfully brief liaison with some time ago.....

And then a steppe to the right.....

2008-07-05T00:13:00.004+08:00

I am typing this at 12 15 in HK airport. I have been here for 5 hours. Luckily, I have lounge access so I have been enjoying the hospitality of the Cathay lounge (my, I get value for money from Cathay in all sorts of ways :-) )

The reason I'm stuck here is that there is unseasonable weather in Beijing which is preventing my flight from taking off. From Beijing I will be going to Mongolia. Mongolia has also been hit by torrential rain. By rights, Mongolia should be one of the driest places on the planet if records are anything to go by. However, it has been struck by 4 catastrophic climate events within 10 years

WTF is going on?? This is profoundly depressing. And no matter how much free cab sav I pour down my neck, or how many South Africans I befriend at the bar, this just isn't right....

And so my jolly to Mongolia (also somewhat blighted by the recent riots ) starts in a less than auspicious manner.

you get what you....

2008-07-01T10:10:00.002+08:00

need? want? deserve??? well, dear reader, you judge.

And so it was that I headed off to a long weekend in Phuket, where I'd decided to park myself in a luxury resort, and pondered..... and after falling prey to the usual GP tendency to over-think an issue I finally came to my conclusion.

Damn it, I would. Tired of being the good girl, tired of being the one to point out down sides, tired of being the one with the " strong moral compass" - I decided to enjoy the next few days with no guilt and, importantly, no expectations of anything happening once back in HK.

Having made my decision, I set about trying as hard as possible to get a decent tan (hard when you're pale like me, especially in 2 days, but hope springs eternal) and embarked from my flight in BKK feeling a delicious frisson of anticipation.

NIght one, we went out to dinner and retired to my hotel. Imagine swelling strings, champagne on ice, candles - well, imagine what you want, predictably the reality was much more prosaic. Nice enough, but funnily enough not a life changing transcendental experience.

Night two, he turned up late and drunk, we discussed the BBC news channel, various issues and stuff and then nodded off.

Night three, we went out to dinner, appropriately in the same restaurant as night one, and agreed that we'd had a very nice holiday fling that was now finished. Over.

So - in essence - we'd managed to cram a relationship into 3 days. We parted friends, I've no doubt that we'll see each other again, what that will entail I'm not sure. Suffice to say, I don't feel any guilt about any of this, maybe a twinge of regret that I guess is inevitable when fantasy is dragged, kicking and screaming, into reality and a cheeky, wry smile as I think through the whole episode.

Goes to show though, sometimes the anticipation can be the whole gig, eh?

But if you try sometimes....

2008-06-24T20:40:00.001+08:00

And so it was that I found myself in a street cafe in Singapore, on a flying visit, discussing what the next week would hold. Could we, after so long, actually go through with this, or had the moment passed? Would it live up to the hype, or not...

From the off we were clear that this wasn't going to be an on-going thing. In fact, as the evening went on, it was less and less like a flirty dinner and more and more like a slightly sordid contracting meeting.....

After a longish dinner we parted, me to Phuket to consider next steps and whether this was something I wanted. Next stop, appropriately, Bangkok....

You can't always get what you want...

2008-06-21T10:54:00.002+08:00

For the past 2 years (2 years!!!) I've been conducting an on/off flirt with someone in HK. Fairly early on it became clear that we were poorly suited to actually go out with each other (you know when you just know??) but this didn't stop him being a) extremely overtly flirty and b) hot. And so we both got on with our lives, save for the occasional text or email, but never going beyond the very safe realm of fantasy and speculation.

All that changed earlier this year. We actually met after more than a year of no physical contact. One intense night in a bar, more than a couple of drinks, and we were planning and plotting how we would actually get together. The presence of a girlfriend for him and dates for me made it safe on both sides - with boundaries clearly drawn could we actually play without consequences, somehow have the fun and frolics with none of the guilt and baggage?

I think this is what Erica Jong was dreaming of as "the zipless fuck".

And you may find yourself.....

2008-06-19T08:07:00.003+08:00

My current favourite blog (one that's written by an anonymous blogger not a friend :-) ) is Hemlock's diary, written by a Company Gweilo, i.e. a foreigner based in one of the big hongs out here. Check him out at for a very particular view on the Big Lychee

Tragedy! when the feeling's gone and you can't go on....

2008-06-14T18:25:00.002+08:00

Last night I got to see a side of HK that I rarely interact with - the ritzy-glitzy-designer'n'coke bar scene. As it was also a completely spontaneous thing, I found myself sitting in this pretentious, ridiculously look at me place dressed in a look that's best described as "urban wanna be dyke".

In my salt encrusted birkenstocks, rolled up badly fitting jeans and t shirt, however, I can honestly say that I was having a better time than the majority of the hello dahling look at me crowd who were orbiting round this extraordinary place. I gleefully swigged beer from the bottle whilst being introduced to some of HK's model set (if the women are good looking I can honestly say the guys are even more hot. Extraordinary).

The cue to leave was when the second DJ set of the night started and 3 idiots in gas masks took to the stage. Gas Masks???? Having enjoyed Nathan Barley too much last week I couldn't take it and shambled out into the pouring rain.

Keep it girthy.

We are the champions, my friend…

2008-06-13T10:50:00.000+08:00

Dragon Boating is an odd sport. It’s completely uncomfortable. And anachronistic. 18 – 20 (or sometimes up to 50) paddlers propel a heavy wooden boat down a course of variable length, with a steersperson at the back and someone beating merry hell out of a drum to keep time at the front. As a friend pointed out this week, in any other sport there would have been technological advances to drive better performance – fibreglass boats perhaps? Carbon fibre paddles?? But no, dragon boating is a Chinese sport and so the preferred approach to making the damn thing go faster is to add more people.

We’ve just celebrated the finale of the Dragon Boat season, with the races at Stanley. These are an extravaganza of largely expat exuberance – 200 odd dragon boat crews, corporate junk jollies for paddlers and non paddlers alike and in the middle of it some surprisingly competitive paddling over a 200m course. This year marks my third appearance in our squad - and each year the races have been momentous for one reason or another.

2006 –meeting the people I now consider great friends was significant in giving me the courage to walk away from my simply dreadful relationship with toxic J Low. The day itself was marred by his staying out all night with a “friend” of mine and then finding out on the day that whilst I was away on business he would be bringing other women back to our apartment. Cue many tears and the realisation that, as he didn’t see this as his problem, the end really was nigh.

2007 – single, happy and enjoying life. The paddling itself went well, and the after party ended up in an unlikely snog with an unsuitable, but interesting, choice of partner. It was ever thus.

2008 – our guys have only gone and won it! I’m still smiling. Huge performance all round for all teams. Party tomorrow night to celebrate in some style. Watch this space for updates.

Our lips are sealed....

2008-05-31T16:41:00.002+08:00

Following on from previous posts - GP feels the need to share the funniest text exchange she has ever had.

to GP: My pussy is so wet after last night. Yes - let's go for anal tonight! XXX

from GP: Hi. My name's GP. Er - wrong number but good luck for tonight!

to GP (immediately): Oh my god

To those who will see me tonight, I fully expect to still be laughing. I only hope the chap it's intended enough wasn't so much of a cad that he's been dolling out fake numbers?? One more move to add to my repertoire of dating like a man....

And as an aside - does this prove that romance is dead? Discuss.

walk like a man, talk like a man..

2008-05-28T08:37:00.003+08:00

oh my.....

so, here goes on my thoughts on dating like a man (less salacious than you might think)

simple really

1. multiple "projects" on the go at the same time
2. enjoying dates but not particularly expecting anything at the end of them
3. enjoying nights out with the girls even more
4. at all times keeping what i want/need out of the relationship front of mind
5. not investing my energy in relationships that aren't spot on for me....

Now - why the global demand for stories about you know who??? As a nascent Buddhist (dodgy understanding of the nature of karma, desire not to dwell on bad stuff from the past, nagging feeling that you wouldn't catch Richard Gere dishing the dirt on one of his exes) I can't help but think that sharing more stories about this bullying, aggressive and arrogant man would only reflect badly on me.

Albeit it would provide international entertainment for my lovely and long standing friends who had to tolerate his awful behaviour over the 2 years (2 YEARS!!!) that we were together.

So how about this? Share YOUR favourite J Low stories as comments, we'll decide on a winner and there will be prizes...

Another page....In your history.......

2008-05-19T07:46:00.003+08:00

Dating like a man huh??? will share my ideas and indeed activities about this some other post.....

This one is all about the importance of anniversaries and markers of time. (A little light reading for a Monday morning then). Whenever I've gone through particularly difficult times I've found diary keeping to be very helpful. Reviewing progress one week to the next is an excellent way of demonstrating change when you can feel moment to moment as though everything is static and stuck.

As I prepared myself for my inaugural drinks at the Yacht Club this weekend (prepared = turning up flustered and late due to my mix up about timings) I realised with a start that it was a year to the day since my ghastly ex finally left HK. This was the man who had ordered (no joke) me not to join HIS club and mix with HIS friends (this was, to clarify, when we were still notionally a couple) thereby lopping off one avenue I had to connect with people when I was newly arrived to HK. It wasn't worth the candle to join up anyway (imagine the kind of tantrum a 3 year old can throw, only delivered by a fully grown man - well, grown at least physically) and so for much of the past 2 years I simply sponged off friends within the club, until I clocked that, really, now, there was no good reason for not joining under my own steam.

As an aside, the reason I'd been sponging was that only members can pay within the club - you sign for things rather than pay by cash or card. 99% of my friends in HK put up with this admirably, relying on an informal system of paybacks and beer karma to make sure that debts got repaid. The 1% (I'm sure you can guess who) opened his bill with a flourish each month, worked out how much was attributable to me, and demanded that I pay. Cash.

Guess who's back? Back again??

2008-05-15T21:42:00.002+08:00

Hello all (you know who you are)

Back now in HK - a strangely disconcerting experience after being in the UK, where everyone (no joke) is either married, shacking up, pregnant or trying hard to get pregnant. Into all this I breezed, and by the end of it felt very odd about my single status. I have therefore decided to try dating like a man. (Not, it has to be said, dating other women, not my thing). More on this approach for another post I think....

Still, being back in HK the sheer oddness of this place has hit me between the eyes, alongside its extraordinary diversity (as measured along any axis you could care to mention). The weekend saw me dragon boating on a beautiful island (albeit next to a large and ugly power station, more on my thoughts on the Chinese planning process another time) before hiking out to a deserted waterfall for a picnic (and spliff - or rather would have if those in the know had been organised enough to bring a lighter with them - dur......) The week saw me enjoying lunch with one of HK's great and good in his top notch club (where, to my amazement they have a 10 pin bowling alley where the balls are returned to you not by a machine - oh no - but by a little man who squats behind the pins waiting for the balls to be bowled at him. Seriously. You couldn't make it up eh?). Last night, after a lengthy training session, us young uns (i.e. below 50) retired to bed, whilst one of my teammates (an older expatriate gent who has lived the life - defining moment being turning up to a party with a full on harem of beautiful Asian women with him) took himself off to Ladies Night in Wan Chai post haste.

You may be relieved (and not surprised) that I declined his kind offer to join him.

Where does it go from here? Is it down to the lake I fear? La la la la la, la la la la la la la la....

2008-05-03T01:57:00.003+08:00

Doesn't the relentlessness of it all get you down sometimes?

I've just finished a spell back in London, seeing friends, family and having two very intensive weeks back in the mothership of the London office. This was a chance to "reconnect", "re-energise", "create meaning".....

In truth, some of this has happened. Seeing friends, good friends, and having the luxury of time to catch up with them has been invaluable. Taking a step out from the daily grind to see change over time has been wonderful - friends who last year were desparate for children are now pregnant. Relationships that looked rocky are now flourishing. People remark on changes in my life, and having someone "hold up the mirror" (in the jargon of my work life) is useful. Being nominated as someone's "most intimidating collegue" was not a highlight, but hey, I guess you just have to take the rough with the smooth, right?

And so it was that I felt marginally lifted - until that is making the fatal mistake of logging on to email and seeing the same old same old coming at me through cyberspace.

Balls.

She flies like a bird, oh me oh my!

2008-04-19T23:08:00.002+08:00

The journey was going just fine until we pulled up to Terminal 5 - "welcome to our new home!" purred the BA hostess as we parked up at the gate. Tired and crumpled as I was after the long flight I didn't readily pick up the hint of menace in her tone.

The new building is in truth quite beautiful, and compared to the instant heart sink that was arriving at Terminal 4, a huge improvement. It's light, airy, I've even read reviews describing it as "cathedral like", which I guess is fanciful but is an adjective on nodding terms with the reality.

Aside from the soaring roof, imposing structure and other architectural features used to emphasise the smallness of man and his part in the greater scheme of life, the other way in which T5 could be liken to a cathedral struck me as the manner in which the services conducted within it are serving the needs of higher "powers that be" rather than the punters at ground floor level.

I was left to develop this somewhat complex metaphor whilst waiting for my bag. The arrival of all the luggage was slow, compared to any other modern airline terminal, but mine had the distinction of being the very last out. As I watched the rest circle gracefully, nay almost meditatively around the carousel, I pondered whether this was BA's way of commenting on the absurd pace of modern life, and encouraging us to slow down and enjoy our brief, fleeting sojurn by taking time out to enjoy the mundane and the everyday?

It was only when caught in second queue, this time for one of two lifts that take people to the car park (some bright spark had decided to dispense with stairs or escalators) that I realised I might be being too generous to the "planning" arm of BA...........and applauded my decision not to share my half baked theories with my fellow passengers on the BA28 this cold, drizzly and windy am. Welcome, indeed.

Fly me to the moon, and let me play amongst the stars

2008-04-18T21:19:00.004+08:00

It's official - I must be the least credible environmentalist going.

After the past couple of week's jaunt around SE Asia (including an interesting interlude in GP's personal life that deserves its own blog once I've decided just how to describe it so I appear in some kind of favourable light) I am now jetting off to London. For my sins I will be landing in Terminal 5. I do hope my luggage does too.

This trip will be my first back to Blighty for a while, something I always look forward to enormously and then end up itching to come back to HK. Normally it's just the overwhelming sense that the UK is in some sort of unstoppable decline, as evidenced by the overwhelmingly negative media, crassness of much of public life, crap weather, general pessimism........

This trip is all timed around my company's strategy day, which will hopefully reignite my enthusiasm for working life, or at least give me a change of scenery and the chance to recharge my batteries somewhat.

Hope springs eternal, life is a journey and all travel is a metaphor (or something).

it's yer...money I'm after baby

2008-04-08T14:34:00.002+08:00

Writing this now from the Metropolitan Hotel in Bangkok, recommended by Luxe Guides (the more than slightly snooty guide book series that markets itself as being unashamedly elistist - "the best of the best") as "The Temple of Suave for the stylish bodkin". I do hope I measure up.

This will be the 4th different bed I've stayed in in less than a week since leaving HK and it's not much fun. It's also got me thinking about just how much my job is, in many ways, like being a high class hooker, only valued and paid for for my intellectual skills rather than anything else I might have to bring to the party.

I see clients. I have an hourly rate. I spend a lot of time in hotels. I have many fleeting relationships which, whilst superficially might be quite pleasant, have at their base money. Ho hum.

Maybe it's time to brush down the CV and get myself a proper job?

It's like thunder! lightening!

2008-04-03T19:56:00.003+08:00

No - it's not just like thunder and lightening, it is thunder and lightening.

Typing this from a deck in Phuket, where I've set up my laptop to do the couple of things that need to happen before I can put the damn thing away and spend a couple of days doing sweet FA. In a glamorous (I'd like to think) way, I realise that for the past couple of years I have ended up in Phuket for a mini spa break after 7s weekend. I shall turn this into an annual ritual. Anyway, I was entertaining fantasies of sunning myself and catching a few rays before coming back to HK - until that is the plane landed and the heavens opened.

Fortunately I like watching storms, and I don't tan so well anyway, so maybe it's all good if the sun's not shining this weekend...

sweet caroline....wah wah woah!

2008-04-01T20:45:00.005+08:00

This blog is turning into a gallop through the key events in the expatriate social calender. This weekend, I give you, the beer fest that is the Hong Kong 7s.

Ostensibly, this is a leg of the International Rugby Board's 7s Rugby Tournament - there are also rounds of this in Dubai and, er, other places too, and it's all good fun and teams from around the world get together and play in a 3 day tournament in HK.

It's also, in a town that likes to party, one of the biggest piss up weekends that people travel from miles around to come to. Four of my friends came out from the UK, 2 for the weekend only, one from KL and one from Melbourne. This is in no way unusual. The epitome of the spirit of the weekend is the South Stand, where the hard core 7s fans , often in costume and always lagered up to the eyeballs mass and party hard for the full 3 days. Photos available on facebook.

I am now too old and crumbly for this, so do the slightly more gentile version which is ligging shamelessly into the corporate boxes. Last year I inexplicably ended up grappling Ieuan Evans and then being taken out to dinner by a CEO and his visiting Chairman. Half cut, I ended up giving my views on what he should be presenting to the global HR conference in the next month. They are still a client. It couldn't have been all bad.

This year was slightly more restrained, but it's all relative. Saturday and Sunday saw me enjoying the hospitality of various companies, running into ex players (David Campese is both shorter than he looks on the telly and seems to have no mates) and eying up the new batch (like policemen, rugby players do look awfully young these days....)

And then Monday rolled round, HK woke up to one mutha of a hangover and the city ticked back into its more usual routine (much, one would have to think, to the relief of the locals).

Video Killed the Radio Star

2008-03-27T12:23:00.002+08:00

And more's the pity if you ask me!

At the beginning of February, in manner of engaging, enlightened boss who practises what she preaches, I held an off site team day for the Hong Kong office. Not content with just getting everyone together, I also engaged a good friend here, L, to film the day with us, and get us using the camera.

All good fun. Until, that is, two things happened.

The first is the resignation of one of my team. Admittedly she will continue to work with us as an associate, and it is the best configuration all round, but what now to do with the footage of her banging on about her hopes and dreams for the forthcoming year??? I'm fairly sure, although my memory's not crystal clear on this, that one of them wasn't leaving the company.....

The second was viewing the rough cut of the film last night. Who was that wrinkly, tired looking, funny chinned woman with the oddly posh voice? Surely not......

I now have options.

1. cosmetic surgery.
2. photo shopping Uma Thurman in for me in the video
3. getting over myself.....

Money makes the world go around....

2008-03-22T10:09:00.002+08:00

I've been banging on to anyone who will listen about a book i've recently read.

Asian Godfathers by Joe Studwell (ISBN 13 978 1 86197 711 3, available at all good book stores near you, no I am not on commission) is the story of the political and social conditions that have enabled a unique cadre of people to emerge in this neck of the woods - the handful of tycoons whose business activities dominate this part of Asia. Taking as his territory SE Asia (Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippines, Thailand, Singapore and HK) he explores the pre and post colonial landscape, impact of WWII and subsequent development to account for why a small number of gob smackingly wealthy families and their cronies control so much of the wealth and power in this region.

For full details, naturally I'd recommend getting a copy yourself. However, reading it challenged one of the nagging ideas that has been growing within me since moving to HK in October 2005. Now, lest you are in any doubt, GP is a very liberal creature, brought up on a diet rich in left wing media and taught to shred copies of the Daily "Hate" Mail on sight no questions. (As an aside, the currently most rabid columnist in the Mail - stiff competition there too - is hilarious referred to in all Guardian blogs at present as "clinically sane" Melanie Philips" which reliably raises a chuckle in me). ANYWAY, point is that the principles of a modern, Western democracy are something that I have grown up enjoying, expect as a right without question and I've never even dreamed of any other system.

Come to HK of course and things are different. Not so different, like on the mainland, that you get a clear sense of what you are missing out on (the TV screen blanking out for example every time the Dalai Lama appeared, which given the situation in Tibet right was a lot). No - here everything is pretty much like at home, apart from it's really efficient, everything is clean, streets are safe, stuff happens without endless consultation and you earn more money because the tax rate is peanuts. All good right? And so it was that the minor inconveniences, like having to carry an ID card around at all times, the more subtle irritations (only 2 supermarket chains here, and both are crap, because the system will only allow a duopoly) and the occasional story in the press about another absurdly rich bloke getting away with it (today's story is Peter Lam Kin-ngok, escaping a speeding fine on some highly dubious grounds) kind of melt away before the rich expat playground that HK can be.

Ambling back to the point, HK on the surface is a great place, and for certain aspects of life it certainly is. However, on a personal level I don't have a vote. My choices as a consumer are limited as extremely wealthy and powerful families control and shape the business landscape here, and can do so as there is no effective competition law to challenge the incumbents. There is nothing like a fair taxation system to redistribute wealth or provide a basic level of social security for those at the bottom of society's pile. And nothing like a free press to bring pressure to bear on those who are raking it in with both hands.

Stop there wait a minute Mr "Post"man!

2008-03-17T23:07:00.002+08:00

Or more accurately Post person...

Spoke too soon about those tricky wardrobe doors....

Hold the cannonisation........

And of course, thank goodness it's Easter this weekend, traditionally the time to gorge on chocolate, er, catch up on sleep and of course embark on DIY projects!

Alleluia! Alleluia! A-lle-lu-lia!!!

2008-03-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

Now, I know it's Lent still, and therefore too early for Alleluias technically speaking, but I think something truly miraculous has happened in Poobah Towers.

Walls have ears, as we all know, and it would seem that my wardrobe doors have wireless internet connectivity and the ability to log onto this blog.

For it came to pass that shortly after logging off and stomping to bed, I decided to have one last crack at putting the damn things back, and wouldn't you know it, they slid uncomplainingly back onto their runners as though there had never been a problem in the first place......

Coincidence? I think not. Readers, the only logical, feasible explanation for this is that this blog is a kind of electronic version of Lourdes - bring me your just causes and they shall be fixed! Publish and, er, don't be damned! etc etc

Thanks though for all offers of help, it is a long way to come from Oslo to fix this particular problem, but much appreciated nevetheless. And for those more locally based, plenty of opportunity to put up uneven shelving and make crude, inappropriate "My, that's a big drill" type comments when I move into Poobah Villas shortly :-)

It ain't what you do it's the way that you do it.....

2008-03-10T22:42:00.002+08:00

I can't remember when I was first introduced to the concept of blue jobs and pink jobs.

Note, that's BLUE jobs.

For the uninitiated, it's that some jobs that blokes just do better, and some that women get to grips with more easily. And if we could just accept that simple fact (it's not about being better just differently skilled etc etc) then we'd all get along famously.

The truth of this was brought home to me when I decorated my first flat. I was living with my friend A at the time We were (are) two independent, well qualified, capable women. Therefore we were going to do all the bloody DIY by ourselves, oh yes we were, and no need to ask for help from anyone.

After a couple of weeks of this, I decided on a different approach - PSE or Pay Someone Else. The wonky toilet roll holder, blinds that were impossible to close, unsafe shelving and streaky gloss paint became just too much to bear - and I'm not someone who's particularly known for being house proud or anal about these things. No - DIY is a blue job, and I happily paid C to come round and fix the whole sorry mess.

I have been painfully reminded of this principle today. Now, GP is going through a bit of a dip, what with one thing and another, and could do with the nuts and bolts of her life running smoothly. On rails in fact. What she really doesn't want to deal with is her wardrobe doors falling off their runners and then having the added indignity of being unable to fix the sodding things. Mind you, were she in a more tolerant and less stressed frame of mind she probably wouldn't have resorted to the (rarely successful) "swear like a bastard whilst kicking them" (SLABWKT) which they singularly have failed to respond to.

So if any regular GP readers (male or female, I'm very happy to have the pink/blue job thing debunked) feel like rising to the challenge, then I'd be quite happy to do the requisite pink job (make the tea, watch admiringly etc etc) whilst you get to grips with the blue!

Mama, we love you...

2008-03-09T14:21:00.003+08:00

recently it seems that everywhere i look my female friends are either having babies, desperate to have babies, dealing with the aftermath of having a baby or resolutely not having babies. As a thirty something woman, I'm not sure what I want, but I do know that I feel overwhelmed and stressed at not having a position on the subject. Is it naive to think that it really was all much easier in my mum's day - roles more fixed and expectations unchallenged? Mind you, she had two children, a number of miscarriages, a very nasty bout of post natal depression and the on going challenge of raising a disabled child. Not sure with hindsight this is what she would have chosen. If she ever perceived she had a choice at all. Anyway, to illustrate some of the traffic around this issue:

From a former colleague at work to the entire practice.

I’m about to do something I thought just wasn’t me. Housewives and stay-at-home mothers always seemed strange creatures to me – is that sort of life really satisfying? Well, having been there for nearly a year and a half, I can report that yes it is very satisfying and rewarding and all those clichés people like to band around. It is also more stressful and emotionally tiring than any work experience I have ever had.

Having a child has changed me, my life, my expectations and my desires, and whilst I’m knackered most of the time and crave me time, being first and foremost a mother is just what I need to do right now.

From today's Observer

3. Corinne Maier

Who: Author

Why: In a culture of yummy mummies and giant designer prams 43-year-old Maier, mother of two, says the unsayable: having kids is overrated. Her book No Kid: 40 Reasons Not To Have Children, has scandalised France and topped the bestseller lists. The former economist rails against everything from giving birth and breast-feeding to sexless relationships and anodyne child-talk: 'In France, people go on too much about the glory of motherhood, and you're not allowed to talk about all the problems having kids causes. I thought it would be fun to take a dig at the myth that having a child is wonderful.' She's bold, funny and, often, spot-on.

She says: 'There are moments when I bitterly regret having kids.'

We're so pretty, oh so pretty....

2008-03-09T13:13:00.005+08:00

And so to another staple of the HK scene - the charity ball. The format is a simple one - take a top end location (ballroom of a plush hotel, top end restaurant or, last night, the deck overlooking HK's skyline), adopt a cause (Care for AIDS sufferers), invite guests and add booze. Then chuck in a raffle, silent and real auctions and proceed to part the guests and their money.

HK is a remarkably wealthy place (I think I've read somewhere that it has the highest per capita number of millionaires of any city) and also somewhere where enjoying and displaying your wealth is not viewed with any distaste at all. In fact, vulgar (to my mind) and ostentatious shows of just how much cash you have are almost mandatory.

I have been on the guest side of such events of course, and they are normally quite good fun, depending on the guests at your table and the entertainment laid on. Last night, however, I was on the other side of the fence, volunteering my time to work behind the bar at an event to raise cash for supporting AIDS suffers in HK and China.

It's been a long time since I worked behind a bar. I've certainly never before worked behind a bar where the most popular order was $800 bottles of Moet. Still the evening was great fun, and most of the guests remembered that we were in fact volunteers rather than professional bar staff and modified their behaviour and expectations accordingly. I got to stand behind the makeshift bar watching the great and good of HK society troop past, regulation furs for the ladies and arm candy for the men. The owner of one of the more pretentious bars in HK (Dragon-i - somewhere I avoid on principle ever since a friend was denied a table because she didn't fit the look of the place) arrived with a troop of young models for his guests. Hilariously they arrived after the food. I guess when you work in the catwalk trade main courses aren't part of the deal.

The realisation I had was that working the bar was actually more fun for me than being a guest at the event. I chatted to far more people, got a better view of the entertainments and altogether felt far more comfortable than parading around in a posh frock spending money like water. Hey ho. Still, next week I am the guest of a good friend to the American Chamber Ball so will get the chance to compare and contrast. And I'll certainly make sure that I'm polite to the staff.

Everybody hurts sometimes.....

2008-02-27T10:04:00.000+08:00

In my line of work - being a corporate shrink - there's a movement at the moment called "Authentic Happiness". this is all based on the premise that you can learn the tricks of being happy. Happy people live longer, have more fulfilling relationships, are healthier and generally live "better" lives. Psychologists have, traditionally, looked at what causes abnormality - depression, obsessions, anxiety and the like and sought to cure these conditions. Then someone (bloke called Seilgman, actually) decided to turn the paradigm on its head and look at what factors promote psychological wellness. He found that gratitude, forgiveness, investing in relationships and playing to strengths are all correlated with psychological well being and a feeling of contentment. Check it out at http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/profile.aspx

All good stuff.

Apart from, for me, a nagging doubt at the back of my mind about the value to individuals of experiencing the full range of emotions. Don't get me wrong, extremes (clinical depression, anxiety and so on) are debilitating and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. I've had too much personal and professional experience to glamorize them for a moment. But there's something about this current trend to cure, avoid, medicate or otherwise deny experiences that seems to me to lessen and diminish the overall experience of what it is to be human.

I wrote this post a while back, apropos of goodness knows what. Nice to see that sometimes random musings and thoughts are validated by mainstream opinion. The news broke this week that Prozac is no better than placebo (the drug not the band - not sure that anyone's run that comparison) in the treatment of mild to moderate depression. Eli Lily, the corporate monster who've made a stack from licensing the drug, suppressed results that didn't fit the party line (i.e. span the story). A team of researchers, using the Freedom of Information Act, demanded to see the whole lot, and, wouldn't you know it, when you take all results into account the treatment effect disappears. Oops.

The other interesting (to me anyway) part of the story has been a rush of articles on the upside of depression (or at least why, in an evolutionary sense it's survived as a thing rather than being selected out). Check out http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/feb/27/mentalhealth for one view on this.

(Pipe line) Pure as the driven snow.... (Running through my mind) And now I'm having fun, baby....

2008-02-25T19:01:00.002+08:00

Holidays are a funny business. Like Christmas, the promise is often more alluring than the reality. This is a short preamble to the deconstruction of a trip away that, with hindsight, seems to have been jinxed from start to finish.

On paper, it showed great promise - a week's skiing in Niseko, powder capital of the world and somewhere I had a fantastic weekend away last year. Although not a skillful skier, I'm certainly enthusiastic, and normally well able to throw myself reasonably safely (if not stylishly) down the slopes. Add in beautiful surroundings, interesting company and a week out of the office - what could go wrong??

Where should I start?

Involving my parents was, with hindsight, a mistake. Whilst their sole role was to mail a parcel (at my expense) to HK (containing all my ski kit) this in the end proved so difficult and stressful (and ultimately pointless) that I really wish I hadn't bothered. My parents can not only create mountains out of molehills, they can create huge, spiky, impassable ranges out of absolutely nothing. Nothing is easy, everything is a "disaster" and oddly enough usually my problem to sort out. Suffice to say, once they had found the boots (one bag) and mailed it (i.e. taken it to the Post Office) - all involving extraordinary amounts of contact with me to check they were doing the right thing - the bag promptly went missing somewhere between Crewe and Stoke. Brilliant. I can only assume that some pikey bastard somewhere in the Midlands is now wondering what to do with a pair of ski boots tailored precisely to my feet, some aging goggles and, I really hope, socks that haven't been washed since my last ski trip.

So, problem one, no kit.

The next hiccup was one more of my own making. HK is not a place that's easy to stay well. Coughs, colds and bugs abound. I have been suffering from a cold for the past month, but, true to my Protestant work ethic, didn't do anything as slack as take time off. Oh no. Struggling on, feeling tired, miserable and contagious was clearly the better option. And, predictably, one that ensured I turned up on holiday and promptly got really ill. So, having travelled for a day, I spent the first 2 days in bed, occasionally struggling out and then really wishing that I hadn't bothered. Wonderful.

Problem two - felt crap.

This then led into the next issue - ski holidays are great, sociable occasions - as long as you are feeling sociable. I wasn't. But neither did I want to be a party pooper. But then again any time I went out I tended to ruin the ambiance of the evening with my hacking cough. My inability to manage small talk didn't help much either.

Problem three - social leper.

By the end of the week I was quite looking forward to coming home, curling up in my flat and getting better properly. I chose not to extend the trip for another day (not least because of the absurd amount of cash I'd burned through on the trip already). So - I waved goodbye to the rest of the group and headed off to the airport. Which was promptly enveloped in the biggest blizzard in living memory. All flights cancelled. As the full implication of this became apparent, a fellow passenger and I hatched a plan to get to Sapporo to stay in a hotel. Don't hold your breath - this isn't a story that will have a sudden happy ending.... My travelling companion was a charming, 70 year old German physics professor on a trip to Tsingdao. He was truly fascinating company, and thank the lord I ran into him otherwise I would have had an utterly grim stopover in Sapporo. As it was, the highlight of the trip home was dinner watching the snow pile down, whilst talking about the second law of thermodynamics and the links between physics and philosophy.

Problem four - it never rains but it blizzards.....

Anyway, said snow meant that all forms of transport from the airport to Sapporo were suspended, leaving no option but to sleep on the terminal floor and then hope that it all picked up the next day. And so it was that 24 hours behind schedule I finally schlepped back to HK, tired, ill and smelly.

Have I had a holiday?? Doesn't feel like it. I've now been signed off work for the next 3 days ("You've got flu" diagnosed my HK GP astutely) and will pioneer an urban mini break instead.

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air.....

2008-02-15T09:17:00.002+08:00

Poor Benny. This, I would assume, is a comprehensively crap start to the year of the RAT. Sadly, as I'm now off skiing for a week I won't be able to follow the paper trail further, as undoubtedly Benny, or maybe Benny's boss (one can only hope) will pick up the baton and respond. Dear reader, if you have a moment and can be arsed, please keep an eye out for the next salvo from the EPD?

Reply cannot be taken seriously

Feb 15, 2008

I would like to thank Benny Y.K. Wong from the Environmental Protection Department for his response ("All views on air quality welcome", February 5) to my letter ("Wrong day for crucial meeting on air quality", January 27), inviting public consultation on the air quality objectives.

Sadly the department's website recommended does not have a way of actually giving feedback other than through a generic e-mail address. I have shared my views but have little confidence that they will be acted on in a meaningful way.

A friend involved in public consultation for local and national government in Britain, and who worked for a company that specialised in public consultation, notes the type of consultation that occurs in Hong Kong is about 20 years behind best practices.

It seems that the government culture in Hong Kong is one of actually being scared of public input. And as to the assertion from Mr Wong that, "We take all views from the community seriously", this hardly squares with the paltry numbers who were at the consultation meeting - 200 participants, that says it all.

In a city of 7 million people, all of whom have a direct interest in air quality, only 200 people were able to attend. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong answer, Mr Wong.

La Grande Poobah, and friends, Mid-Levels

Can you hear them, talking about us....

2008-02-13T08:56:00.000+08:00

From today's SCMP - told you this one would run and run......

"Endless talking does not curb pollution"

I found the statement by the assistant director of the Environmental Protection Department (EPD), Benny Y.K. Wong - that the government welcomes and takes seriously the community's views on how to tackle the air pollution problem - quite depressing ("All views on air quality welcome", February 5).
So the EPD needs our help? I thought they were the experts. Shouldn't the people responsible for clearing our skies already know what to do? I guess not

Mr Wong, here are some suggestions. I am only a teacher, not an environmental expert, but these ideas seem easy to understand. We should implement an idling-engine ban, something discussed since 2000, and introduce road pricing - also discussed for years.

All vehicles that do not meet the most recent environmental standards should be removed within six months. London imposes a daily fine of more than HK$3,000 on polluting trucks. This is action, not consultation.

Make catalytic converters mandatory immediately on all vehicles that do not meet current standards.

Our two power companies should be required to install the most advanced technology that is available to reduce emissions.

Finally, we should use the new World Health Organisation scale for assessing pollution, not the 1987 scale now in use. This is the easiest one to do immediately, but is currently in the consultation process.

These ideas are not new. They have been "discussed", some for many years, but no action has been taken. So, Mr Wong, can you please tell me what good it does to make suggestions when no action is ever taken?

It is sad that the ones who could make a difference just do not seem to care enough. Mr Wong, the people cannot make any of these changes. We need action, not endless consultations, which it seems is the only thing this current administration is good at.

Terry Scott, Sha Tin

Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own....

2008-02-11T22:14:00.000+08:00

I was going to blog about my recent trip to the mainland, about the extraordinary development there and the mixed emotions that it evokes in me. Incisive comments about the march of development in China, how awe inspiring and terrifying it is in equal measure. About how your own relative wealth is jammed down your throat before you can scream "too much!! of everything!!! just stop it can't you!!!!". Shape shifting narrative about the unstoppable rise of the wild east....

And then City beat United 2 -1 AWAY and completed the double for the first time in 38 years, and the scales fell from my eyes and I saw with utmost clarity what's truly important.

It makes me laugh, being in Asia and seeing how the Premiership is so utterly commoditised out here. A friend in KL pointed out recently that if you watch Man U's premiership games, all the billboards in the grounds are for Asian businesses. Tells you exactly who's watching. The bit that is really poignant for me is that the "fans" of these clubs really do engage with the brand as a lifestyle choice. They could no more find Manchester or name Arsenal's home town than I could reliably locate Nanjing on a map.

Being a City fan to me is not a matter of choice, it's part of my identity. My dad, uncle, brother, mother, cousins and grandparents on both sides were/are City fans. I grew up listening to my maternal grandfather's tales of watching Ardwick AFC (as they were). I have been bored to tears by reminiscing between my dad and his brother about great City sides of the past. Their cat used to be called Bert, named after Bert Trautman, the German goalie post WW11 who nevertheless found favour with City fans for somehow managing to play out a game with a broken neck (I can only assume it wasn't badly broken - rather than that he was really good at playing prone). I watched the Division 2 playoff at Wembley between Gillingham Town and City that we somehow snuck in extra time - my cousin was so overexcited by it that he had to have his appendix out the next day. And on and on. The idea of not supporting City, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, is simply not an option, even when now they are funded by a highly dubious, discredited Thai politician and managed by a Swedish serial shagger who looks suspiciously like Mr Burns off the Simpsons. No - despite all of this, I'm City 'til I die, I'm City 'til I die etc etc.

Of course the real irony of this, and bear with me as I try to desperately link the two themes within this post, is that there would be no City or United had there not been the huge influx of people into Manchester as a result of the industrial revolution and the corresponding increase in population along the banks of the Mersey. Poor farm workers, my forebears very much included (apart from the German Jewish lot who turned up a tad later) moved towards the money and king cotton, off the land and into the factories (or, I'm told, for some, working below stairs in service in the better off Victorian households of well to do Manchester and its suburbs).

Not too hard to find parallels between that and the huge migrations and social changes that are all too evident in China right now.

oooh - I'll get by with a little help from my friends....

2008-02-07T11:04:00.000+08:00

This one will, I feel, run and run. Thanks to Mummy and Lottie P for their insightful comments on Benny Wang's response to my SCMP letter. True to my views on recycling, I've taken the liberty of cut and pasting them into a reply, sent to the SCMP this morning. Watch this space for further thrilling action in the on-going case of The People vs EPD! Maybe we could have a private audience with Benny?? Maybe this blogspot will become a focal point for urban activism in HK? Maybe, just maybe, I'm getting ahead of myself.....

Anyway, here's the original, submitted online today. Lottie P/Mummy - if you would like clearer (OK, any) recognition for your plagiarised words then let me know!

I would like to thank Benny Y.K. Wong for his response to my letter inviting public consultation on the air quality objectives ("All Views on Air Quality Welcome, February 5).

Sadly the website recommended doesn't have any way of actually giving feedback other than a generic email address. I have shared my views but have little confidence that they will be acted on in a meaningful way.

A friend who used to do a lot of public consultation for local and national government in the UK, and worked for a company that specialised in public consultation notes that the type of consultation that occurs in HK is about 20 years behind best practices.

It seems that the government culture in HK (URA et al) is one of actually being scared of public input.

And as to the assertion from Mr Wong that "We take all views from the community seriously" this is hard to square with the paltry numbers who were at the consultation meeting. 200 participants - that says it all. In a city of 7 million people, all of whom have a direct interest in air quality, only 200 poeple were able to attend. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong answer!

You say you want a revolution.......

2008-02-05T09:47:00.000+08:00

Wonderful! The pages of the South China turn out to be an open forum for debate. I shall naturally be replying in kind. :-)

From today's South China, under the helpful strap line "All VIews on Air Quality Welcome":

I refer to La Grande Poobah's letter ("Wrong day for crucial meeting on air quality", January 27).

We take all views from the community seriously and would like to hear from them on how best the current air quality objectives should be reviewed and how a long-term air quality management plan should be developed. In choosing the time and day of the forum, we took into account the availability of the speakers, audience and suitable venue. We understand that any day we chose may not have suited everyone's schedule.

Nevertheless, the forum held on January 31 attracted some 200 participants. It seems the choice was largely acceptable though it may not be convenient for some.

For those who could not attend the forum we welcome their views and comments by e-mails at our website at http://www.epd.gov.hk/epd/english/environmentinhk/air/air_quality_objectives/air_quality_objectives.html.

Benny Y. K. Wong, assistant director (air policy), for director of environmental protection

Naturally I invite you all to submit your views to Benny and his cronies on the website post haste!

Baby it's cold outside....

2008-02-02T08:00:00.000+08:00

Before coming to HK, I was woefully under prepared in terms of what to expect of this city state. Aside from the usual images of tall office buildings, and some notion that there was a harbour here, I was truly clueless. I need to remember my ignorance (only 2 years ago after all) when, as happens frequently, I end up having a frustrating conversation with colleagues in London about some basic fact of life in Asia.

Common bugbears include:
My colleague who insists on referring to HK as "South East Asia" - what does he think is in the north?
Another who lectures me on expanding into China - I had to break it to her that HK IS in China;
Those who think it's perfectly possible to have a morning meeting in Singapore and an afternoon one in Shanghai...
and so on, and so on.........

When I head back to London I'll be taking an atlas with me as a gift.

ANYWAY, prompt for this post is that HK is going through a cold snap, one of the coldest on record. For the past week we have shivered as the temperatures plummeted below 10 degrees. It's been horrible, and for just about the first time since arriving here I've felt properly cold. Before my arrival I had in mind that HK was kind of tropical, and that the only thing to worry about was the heat. Not any more.

As a Mancunian I'm hardly a stranger to crap weather and really should not be finding this spell quite as challenging as it's proving! However, my local colleagues really don't seem to know what's hit them. They are presently modeling a look best described as "urban dumpling" - plenty of layers, top to toe coverage, round in the middle.

Of course, what's going on in HK is nothing compared to the mainland right now where the terrible weather is in danger of causing all sorts of civil unrest. Problem seems to be that the awful weather and the subsequent disruption to travel has coincided with Chinese New Year. Traditionally this is the time that migrant workers travel home - for many this is the only time of the year that they will see their families. Thus you have the scary sight of 800, 000 disgruntled workers queuing up in Guangzhou desperately trying to get back for the New Year celebrations. Scary because this is exactly the type of urban unrest scenario that "the authorities" work overtime to prevent. Witness the Chinese Premier zooming around the country, exhorting, praising and generally doing everything and anything possible to keep the show on the road.

All this makes my current discomfort small fry (to anyone other than me of course) but for the record this will be a weekend spent largely under a duvet, ingesting large amounts of lemsip (yes, I have a common or garden cold to boot as well, poor me) and in general moaning on to any friends who will listen in a vain attempt to get sympathy from them. You have been warned.

You could write it in a letter....

2008-01-27T10:32:00.000+08:00

Oh my it never rains but it pours.

As my working life picks up speed, I find myself procrastinating in new and varied ways. Flirting with boys via email and text, playing several boards of scrabulous and latterly turning into Hong Kong's version of "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" - the ficticious letter writer to the Torygraph. There is a strange buzz that comes with seeing your stuff in print (er..maybe that's why I like the micro ego trip that goes with blogging?)

Anyway, here's the latest missive published in my newspaper writing career. After sharing my thoughts with the Guardian last year on having a disabled sibling, I'm turning my attention to the painfully banal South China Morning Post. There is, naturally, a formula for getting published.

First, never forget Beijing is good. It just is. OK?

Secondly, letters that refer to business, and how to build business/make money/beat Singapore are particularly welcome.

Thirdly, knock governmental departments. For starters it's easy, always plenty of material to go on and relatively harmless. The SCMP can therefore look like a connected and concerned commentator, whilst not actually promoting any change.

I'm choosing, as my primary source of material, the environment. However, if there are issues that should be brought to the attention of the readership of SCMP do let me know and I'll do my utmost to bring my creative talents to bear to get it into the rag :-)

Wrong day for crucial meeting on air quality

The air quality in Hong Kong is poor and it is a relief to see the government taking steps to consult the public on Hong Kong's air quality objectives.

The Environmental Protection Department (EPD) is therefore to be applauded for launching a consultation forum to gather opinions about these objectives. Unfortunately the meeting is to be held on a Thursday afternoon ("Review of air quality objectives and development of a long-term air quality strategy for Hong Kong consultation forum", January 31).

As the managing director of a business in Hong Kong, the subject of our air quality is of the utmost importance to me, as it has a direct impact on the well-being of my customers and my staff, and therefore, by implication, the success of my business.

I have strong views which I would love to have the opportunity to share with the EPD.

Why then could the meeting not be scheduled on a weekend, or in the evening, which would enable a broader attendance from business leaders in Hong Kong?

Is the EPD afraid to hear our views?

Grande Poobah, Mid-Levels

Cruising for a piece of fun, hanging out for number one......

2008-01-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

My very good friend, the redoubtable (and I do mean that as a complement) Lottie P recently blogged, in a disparaging way, about a craze in Japan (where else?) of turning text message conversations into novels. I give you now my contribution to this genre - a text by text account of an interaction this evening:

J the P: drink?

Me: You never cease to surprise me. Hello. How are you?

Him: I'm fine but thirsty

Me: Would you believe I'm still at work...Have an issue to sort out.....

Him: We all have difficult issues GP

Me: Ha ha.

Him: Maybe you could analyze whilst I'm between your thighs

Me: Since you last saw me I've put on 20 pounds and shaved my head - I'm not the woman I was. Plus you're pretty cocky!

Him: Whoops I guess that was inappropriate. Must be the Tourettes.

Add in the occasional encouraging text from friends like: "Good head is always for real. Go for it!" and "Oh honey, get it over with" and I think there's the basis for a pretty good story here....

Dear reader, as you can probably tell, I chose not to take him up on his generous offer but the whole thing has certainly put a very big smile on my face. And that of several of my friends!

Wake up in the morning, stumble in the kitchen...

2008-01-23T07:36:00.000+08:00

One of the simple things that I enjoy most about being a girl is getting my hair "done". When I ascend to my fantasy job of tai tai (= trophy wife) I shall have a fresh blow dry every day. No matter how many magazine articles try to show you how to make your hair seem "salon fresh" in my book there is only one way of getting the look - pay the man and let him work his magic with the hairdryer. As an aside, the other luxury I'd allow myself would be fresh flowers always in my house. This is, unfortunately, a bit Elton John, but it's a lovely thought eh?

My liking of hair care is a relatively recent thing, probably grown in the last 5 years or so. Growing up I had more than my fair share of dreadful hair cuts, two dodgy perms and at one point the least flattering crop ever. The pleasure I take now in looking after my barnet is closely linked to finding a great hairdresser, in London, with whom I have one of my closest and most enduring male relationships. In the trade, there's even a phrase for the nature of the conversations that happen between hair dresser and client - thairapy - to illustrate the confidences and closeness that often develop between the two. My relationship with him is now so engrained that leaving him to come to HK was a significant wrench (oh dear, I know how Paris Hilton that reads....) and whenever I'm back in town I always make time to have my hair done with him. So significant is he, that I no longer go to have a hair cut, I go to get a good "Jeroming" - the man is legend, skillful and now a verb. No higher form of praise in my book.

It follows that finding someone to fill this gap was quite significant for me, and I was fortunate to run into the stylists at Paul Gerrard on my first go. They tick all the boxes: witty, gay men who are flattering, honest and catty to just the right point. My treat to myself is to relax in their salon, stack of magazines to one hand including the dreaded "heat", endless cups of tea or a cheeky glass of wine to the other and let Robin/Louis/Peter trim, colour and primp to my heart's content, whilst sharing stories about boys and getting their advice (usually hilarious and always on the money).

Louis, who is responsible for yesterday's grooming experience, has also given me one of my largest recent belly laughs by describing his experience, as a Vietnamese man visiting his boyfriend's family in Rutland over Christmas and being served sprouts......I hadn't realised just what a singularly British "treat" these horrid mini cabbages are, but Louis' repulsion around the whole experience certainly brought it home........

We had such a good time, why didn't you call me?

2008-01-17T10:27:00.000+08:00

A(nother) modern day tale of boys and girls in HK (I won't dignify this by refering to "dating" or "relationships"). This again confirms my view that SATC is not an abstract drama about 4 New Yorkers, more an important piece of cultural history, nay televisual documentary, about the very real life bull and nonsense that accompany 21st century relationships. It also confirms the very wise advice I received from my inestimable girl friends that if a guy doesn't get in touch when he says he will, then the issue is entirely his, and I am better off without him.

So in short, the reason this time for not getting in touch desptite giving off all the signals of interest etc etc is the inconvenient presence of an "on/off" girlfriend in the UK who is pregnant. Clearly more on than off then.

Back once again then, from my perspective, to the golden rules of being single.

1. self preservation.

That, for the moment, in my cynical, jaded and frankly annoyed frame of mind is just about it.

Also some advice for any guys reading this site. Honesty is always the best policy. Truly.

Dear sir or madam, would you read my book?

2008-01-11T18:25:00.001+08:00

A first for me this week - a letter of mine was printed in the South China Morning Post. Regular readers (!) will know only too well my views on this rag, but, for better or worse it is HK's leading English Language paper and the closest thing to a free press that we have locally. My letter was prompted by the news that the mainland is taking action to curb plastic bag use. My good friend, the redoubtable Lottie P, followed it up the next day with a second letter on the same theme.

The most interesting thing about this whole process was the angle that the SCMP placed on both. Both letters had as their core point the lamentable lack of action taken by HK to sort out its own plastics consumption. However, the headings for the letters in the paper highlighted their relative support for the Chinese position. Mine, for example, was titled "Decisive Action" - a header that so missed the mark that I didn't even notice that it was my letter underneath!

Decisive Action

Jan 11, 2008

I read with interest the report that the mainland is taking the lead in reducing the use of plastic bags ("Plastic bag crackdown to include ban on free handouts from June 1", January 9).

I applaud the firm and forward-looking stance that the mainland has taken, which places it alongside other forward-looking nations which are prepared to take decisive action to deal with the environmental problems caused by excessive and irresponsible plastic use.

It therefore is all the more shameful and inexplicable that Legco and Hong Kong retailers are so spineless in their efforts to curb plastic (mis)use.

Where are the leaders who are prepared to take the brave and morally responsible decisions necessary to bring Hong Kong into line with the mainland?

La Grande Poobah, Mid-Levels

It's only words...

2007-12-26T12:35:00.000+08:00

It's THAT time of year to review what's gone well in the past 12 months and plan ahead for a happy, peaceful, successful etc etc new year. About 5 years ago I kicked the habit of making resolutions into touch. I realised that, for me, making vague promises that would never be kept was a fairly pointless exercise, and one that usually ended up with me feeling bad, guilty or useless. These are not feelings I want to have about myself.

So - I devised a new scheme. Review the past 12 months. Work out what's gone well, then distill that down into one word that encapsulates what it was that made it good. Then carry that word forwards into the next year as your personal mantra, and try to keep it at the centre of how you approach life.

As examples, I've had, in previous years, words like "honest", "me" and "balance", which have all been useful to focus on. Last year's word was "relationships" - a reminder to invest only in those which are good for me, and to take my energy away from those that are destructive. Very helpful it's been too. Mind you, you do have to be careful when choosing your word. It has to be something that you have a fighting chance of being able to influence. My good friend, C, introduced to the word concept, embraced it enthusiastically but then saddled himself with 'blow jobs' as his word(s). Not only is this difficult to bring ethically into all areas of one's life, you also risk being sadly disappointed if it doesn't come to fruition (as it were). Still, he is now happily loved up, so you've got to hope that, belatedly, his word has panned out OK.

My word for 2008 came to me, appropriately, in a yoga class. It's stability. In life, in work and in holding eagle poses.

2008 is going to be a great year. Have a good one x

Everyone's a winner, baby... that's the truth....

2007-12-23T10:04:00.000+08:00

And now (drum roll) for the inaugural GP Christmas Quiz! In the best traditions of end of year festivities, for your enjoyment and entertainment, a short review of GP's year. Naturally there are prizes - answers on a comment please and GP will award and divvy up the spoils in the New Year*.

* All gifts to be collected in HK. In the event of a tie, GPs judgment shall be final. And confidential. And not necessarily consistent, as, dammit, this is my Christmas Quiz so my rules, OK??

So let's begin....

1. Geography

What are GPs most and least favourite destinations of this year? Chose from:

Business: Singapore, Seoul, Beijing, Shanghai, Tokyo, London, KL, Bangkok, Zu Hai
Play: Nisseko, Seoul, Palau, Guam, London, Tokyo, Phuket

BONUS POINTS
Calculate the co2 involved in this crazy amount of travel!
Name GPs favourite airline seat (clue - links to q2 below)...

2. Personal and Social Education

E the W, P the P and J the P. All have featured in GP's personal life this year.

a) name those people
b) provide those stories

BONUS POINT
Which of these people is GP most likely to see in 2008 a) through choice and b) through unfortunately running into them in HK?

3. Mathematics

GP visited Macau and burned through a few thousand dollars cash at 3 separate casinos.

a) What are the odds of that happening?
b) How likely is GP to do this again i) this year, ii) in the first half of next year and iii) keeping to her word and making it an
annual thing only?
c) During her trip, GP consumed 3 "free" diet cokes and 2 "free" coffees. What is the net profit GP poured straight into the
coffers of Messrs Wynne, MGM and Venetian?

4. English

GP is well known within the business for being a grammatical pedant. Is her particular bugbear:

a) apostrophe misuse
b) subject/verb agreement
c) gerunds
d) all of the above, and she'd better get a grip on herself before she gets a reputation for this.....

5. Music

Name all the songs that the titles of my posts come from, with artists. In the event of a song being performed by more than one artist, name the artist that GP prefers, with reasons. Karaoke renditions of songs, performed for GP, bring additional bonus points.

6. PE

Get down and GIMME 5!

7. Media Studies

Which of these is GP a regular subscriber to:

Guardian Online, The Straits Times, The Week, Vanity Fair, Amnesty International, Heat

BONUS POINT
Which of these has GP finally broken her addiction to in 2007?

8. Languages

What progress has GP made with her Cantonese this year? Can she now:

a) competently direct a cab to a new location
b) order off menu in a Cantonese private kitchen
c) discuss the merits and demerits of universal suffrage for HK
d) all of the above
e) none of the above?

9. Arts

Slightly thin category this year due to over performance in other areas. However.. The highlight of GPs artistic year was:

a) 1984 at the APA - great show, worrying portent of totalitarian nation states we are descending towards, Orwell had it right
all along...
b) There's something about Mary on the outdoor screen at Cyberport. I know it's crass, I know it's tasteless, but the scene
with the dog high as a kite attacking Ben Stiller is one of the finest slapstick moments on film
c) Aliens on the plane home from Guam... Finally I get to know where all the quotes come from... Keep it tight people
d) Korean language version of A Midsummer Night's Dream at City Hall. Oh you cynics, you don't know what you missed...

10. Chemistry

GP is well known for being a climate worrier and prone to excessive interest and concern about environmental issues. How much hot air does she produce on this subject? What is the net effect on your environment during this atmospheric phenomenon?

TIE-BREAK

The absolute highlight of GPs year was:

a) final departure of odious work colleague
b) traveling to Guam and Palau with great friends
c) the entire long, hot summer.....
d) the lane crawford sale - shoe section

Merry Christmas and a very peaceful and happy 2008 xx

we'll always be together...however far it seems!

2007-12-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

songs follow me around.

yesterday i was travelling from plush KL hotel to the airport, singing along to 80s and 90s classics, whilst also fielding texts arranging a social life in HK. One of these was Phil Oakley's collaboration with Giorgio Moroder, "Together in Electric Dreams'. It is a perfect piece of pop nonsense.

Today I heard the same song again, whilst going through the ritual of seeing a fantastic friend, S, off from HK. Suddenly the trite lyrics seemed all the more meaningful. Mind you, I often have the same sensation listening to ABBA after a particularly nasty breakup. There's depth in that simplicity (or something..)

Still, the notion that "We'll always be together, however far it seems..." seemed comforting as she embarks on a world wide, year plus long trip and the reappearance of L after a long absence proves the truth of these otherwise trite lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9foZ7KVSng

Have you read the news today, oh boy....

2007-12-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

Unofficially I have been exhaustively in search of the worst media available in Asia. I think I may have found a "winner".

Yes, the South China Morning Post is hopelessly parochial, short on decisive commentary and long on fashion. The Straits Times is, well, pleasant, but hardly what you would consider "news" in any conventional sense of the word. The China Daily is an unashamedly biased and slick PR campaign - the journalists surely can't take the crud in there seriously, and therefore neither should we.

No - the outsider, a late entrant, but truly extraordinary for its lack of perspective, sheer poor quality of journalism and dull, dull, dull-ness is (tah dah!!!!) The New Straits Times (henceforth The Dire Straits Times). Yes - available for free in any Malaysian hotel or on line at http://www.nst.com.my/ .

Another suitcase in another hall

2007-12-16T20:12:00.001+08:00

This should be the time of year to gently slow down as Christmas approaches, write Christmas cards, see friends and family and generally reflect on another year gone.

Sadly this year this plan will only be partly achieved. The seeing friends bit is, predictably, ticking along nicely. In fact, a little too enthusiastically perhaps. Friday night went from a quiet night in, through a lovely dinner out with a very good friend, perhaps unwisely to crashing another good friend's Christmas party and then simply inexplicably to Insomnia, where we drank more (as we really needed to by then) and shook our collective booty to cover versions of rock classics cranked out by a Filipino cover band. A quintessential HK experience that, like Christmas, really should come but once a year.

Work wise, something has gone seriously wrong. Tomorrow I fly to KL for a day. This is wrong on so many levels that they aren't worth counting. At the moment the one that's top of my list is that any allure that business travel once had has simply gone. It's dull, stressful and tiring, as well as being climatically disastrous, and I don't care how nice they make the lounges, it's not worth it.

I was remembering fondly today my first business trip, which I got seriously over excited about. Somewhat embarrassingly, with hindsight, it was a trip from London to Edinburgh. I got to travel business class and stay in what i thought was going to be a nice hotel. How wrong I was. I began to realise how unglamorous work travel was shortly after checking in. the hotel was in a grotty part of town, conveniently located next to the bus station. The rooms were cramped, chintzy and smelt of smoke. The other guests seemed to be mainly American tourists.

This in itself wasn't great. However, the final nail in the coffin was when a piper, complete with full Highland regalia, fired up right underneath my window. He proceeded to blast out Highland toons, about a tone flat, for the next hour. Simply dreadful. I later found out that the woman in charge of booking the trips was receiving kick backs from the hotel management for putting us all up there, and was duly sacked.

The KL trip will be a marked improvement on that, with a fighting chance of an upgrade and the hotel will certainly be better. But, bah humbug, NOT the way to relax into the festive season.....

we're S H O PP I N G - we're shopping

2007-12-08T00:15:00.000+08:00

Just back from another trip into China - this time up to Shanghai. You can read all the stats on how fast this place is developing - as I sat sipping martinis overlooking the Bund, it was hard to believe just how far this tier 1 city has travelled in such a short time.

Rapid development brings anomalies. I found myself, mid week, in desperate need of a chemist, so that I could buy a tube of Canestan.

Talk about needs not being met! Within a very short walk of my hotel, I could have my fill of Marc Jacobs, Chanel, China's first MontBlanc store, Hermes........you get the picture.... But a common or garden pharmacy? I think not.

Luxury brands are all very well - but there are some itches they truly can't scratch :-)

Everybody hurts...sometimes.....

2007-12-07T12:56:00.000+08:00

The Guardian has a series where individuals write in asking for advice - it's called Private Lives and it's quite revealing. This week a woman asked for advice for how to get her parents to be more empathic towards her sister who is suffering from rapidily advancing Multiple Sclerosis. My view below.

"I empathise with this very difficult situation. However, I’m not sure that the advice I’m going to give you will be the answer that you are looking for.

I write as the 37 year old sister of a 30 year old brother with autism and behavioural problems. As is common to many people with autism, my brother requires full time support carefully co-ordinated between social and health services.

My parents are in a state of denial about the on-going issues associated with his care, and seem to be waiting for him to “get better”. Their fantasy about this happening effectively prevents them from dealing with the many and varied here and now issues he and they face. My fantasy about my parents suddenly developing the skills to care for him as I believe he needs is driving a wedge between them and me.

My advice, therefore, is to accept the level of care and support that your parents are able to give and not to expect them to be something they are not. If you have said your piece, and called it as you see it, then let it rest. Labouring the point further is exhausting for you, unlikely to change them and ultimately unhelpful to your sister (who, after all, is the one in this piece whose needs should be paramount). Concentrate on the help that you can give, lean into friends and family for support and connect with MS support groups who will be able to give you practical and emotional support at this difficult time.

Good luck. If, of course, I’m wrong then please let me know! I would love for their to be a different answer, but having been around this particular loop more times than I can remember over the past 10 years, I’m not sure there is. Dealing with a disability within a family is a source of on-going grief and loss for what could have been. Sadly this also includes letting go of your idealised version of your parents too."

There was a parking lot - now there's a peaceful oasis....you got it, you got it...

2007-12-03T14:22:00.000+08:00

One of the things I'm passionate about is sustainabilty.

This in part stems from a childhood largely spent being far too serious and pompous for my own good. Whilst other girls were reading Patches and Jackie, I'd be hoovering up New Internationalist, Amnesty International and debating the merits of Fairtrade. For ethical reasons I've been vegetarian more times than I can remember, for reasons of greed and cravings for bacon I've lapsed exactly the same number of times. When the rest of my peer group were enjoying the first Live Aid concert as a great free show, I was arguing with my parents that if they were really serious about ending gloabl poverty, then instead of donating some cash they would bloody well sell the house and make a serious statement of intent.....

Fortunately for all concerned, I've mellowed significantly in older age, and am now enjoying, with bells on, being far less earnest and serious than the up tight adolsecent I once was.

However, one thing that remains an absolute passion for me is caring for the environment in which we live, and treating it with respect and care such that we can continue to live with it. I don't have kids yet, but one of the scenarios I dread is having to explain to some indignant child a couple of decades hence why there's permanent shortages of clean water, no trees and all the food we eat is GM by necessity. And that's not to mention the lack of coral, the reduction in diversity, the permanent damage to our weather systems, the melting ice caps......

The thing that really gets my goat is that all the science, and much of the technology to do something about it, has been known about for decades. Back in the eighties, my inspirational chemistry teacher, Geoff Herbert, laid out in very stark detail exactly what we were doing to the planet. He was right too. Strikes me that if one A level teacher in Stockport understood what was going on, then so do the powers that be, which makes our collective failings to act all the more shameful.

Still, this is now veering dangerously towards an auto-rant. And, in an act that neatly demonstrates the problem, I'm just about to board a flight to Shanghai. But this is only a temporary state of affairs, promise, as shortly I'll be acting to at least make the tiny part of the world that I've got control over sustainable and indeed a peaceful oasis.

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

2007-11-29T18:43:00.000+08:00

Well, I can assure you in HK they certainly do. Never a city to miss out on a) a festival or b) a shopping opportunity, the lights have gone up, the Christmas trees are out in force and the shopping promotions are being, er, promoted. Of course the spiritual content of the celebrations are a touch on the low side, but hey, who needs that when there's 10% off if you spend, spend, spend with your HSBC card??

Bah humbug.

This year will be the first one I've spent outside the UK, and only the second that I won't have spent with my family. This is my choice. I knew my parents would be upset, but didn't realise how upset until I called home the other day. They are seriously considering postphoning Christmas until I'm home - which is probably not 'til Easter. This is clearly nuts. Sweet, but nuts.

I'll be spending Christmas in HK with my surrogate family of friends. And since my word of the year has been "relationships", and my intent has been to invest my time and energies in those that are best for me, this seems like a fitting way to end 2007.

If there's a smile.....upon my face......

2007-11-22T07:26:00.001+08:00

Growing up, I played in the school band and orchestra. Nothing cool - no sax, drums or bass. No, I played bassoon - largely I suspect because the school had bought one and needed a tall kid to carry it. After this unpromising start, I grew to love playing, especially because, due to a shortage of competent bassoonists in the Manchester area, I got to play with loads of good orchestras who were desperate for some bass in the woodwind section.

The only issue with playing the damn thing (aside from the inconvenience of lugging the case around) was that it just wasn't hip & funky at all. No role models. No cool riffs. Plenty of comedy moments: Theme from Ivor the Engine - check. The mop in Sorcerer's Apprentice - check. and on and on....

The one notable exception to this, which I've just caught on Craig Charles' funk & soul show, is Smokey Robinson's Tears of a Clown - listen and grin.......

Livin' my life like it's golden

2007-11-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

Jill Scott is an amazing woman with an awe-inspiring voice and the abilty to find poetry and beauty in the everyday.

http://music.guardian.co.uk/pop/story/0,,2213892,00.html

I came across her music completely by accident. I was driving to see a patient back in the days when I was Dr GP, seeing naughty kids. I was visiting one of our more difficult patients - a 7 year old girl, whose behavioural problems and social skills (more accurately lack of) were, predictably, putting her on a course towards exclusion, academic failure and social isolation. I'd never warmed to her - in fact she was indirectly the reason I decided to leave the NHS. During a particularly difficult session at the hospital, she bolted out of the treatment room. As we tried to shepherd her back in, she turned to face me and launched a huge glob of spit down my front. As I stood there, with her gloop dripping off my clothes, I realised that there really was more to be had in my working life than that. And so I became Corporate GP and the next chapter in my career started. She will be around 17 by now - wonder if she's done better than her dismal prognosis at that time would have predicted. I hope so.

ANYWAY, as I was driving along, "Getting in the way" from Scott's first album, "Who is Jill Scott?" came on the radio. I can still remember the moment. Her voice was so pure, striking and poignant that I pulled over to listen to the song properly, and also to make sure that I got the name of the artist when it finished. Her song, "Golden", is my theme song, and it's either the song that I want playing at my wedding or my funeral. I'm not yet decided, but for me it speaks of optimism, learning from experience and meeting each challenge head on and with integrity. And those are qualities I would like to think I live my life by.

Message in a bottle.....

2007-11-19T20:51:00.000+08:00

one of the things i find funny about having a blog is going to the sitemeter to find out who's been reading. who are you, blogger community, and what brings you to my page?

this is turning into a rolling experiment for me. For example, today 6 people have visited the site including someone in Reading (hello Berkshire!) What have you searched for that brings you here?

the post that attracted most casual click throughs was one that mentioned cocks, girlwithaonetrackmind and dicks all in one paragraph. let's see if the same trick will work twice....and add in for good measure tits, whips and balls too.

on the other hand, i've also tried dropping in minor celeb names - Jodie Marsh, the woman who somehow has carved out a niche for herself sub Jordan, and Violet Naylor-Leyland - but sadly no traffic driven here via these illustrious ladies.

GP is a sociable soul and likes chatting. leave me a note if you drop by....

Act your age, mama, not your shoe size....

2007-11-14T07:38:00.001+08:00

HK is a city of opportunity and choice. Too much choice. Put a community of outgoing, ambitious and successful people together, add music and a healthy dash of booze, and you can be sure that mayhem, misbehaviour and regret will ensue.

All this is a long preamble into the story du jour. Which is about GP going out, getting drunk and getting herself into a situation......

On reflection, I think this post is about responsibility. More particularly, when two people who are attracted to each other, but one of them's married, end up getting too close for comfort, who's fault is that?

Throughout my upbringing I've had an (I now realise) over developed sense of personal responsibility. From a very early age I was encouraged/told to be independent and self reliant. So, I remember, for example, toddling off to school by myself from the age of 4 (it was only a 5 minute walk around the corner, to be fair). My parents took this approach as they genuinely believed that it was in my own best interests. I think as we all have grown up they realise they may have taken it all a little too far.

Anyway, back to the story. It doesn't need too much explaining - the scenario is as old as the hills and always ends badly. I had a brief snog with a married man earlier in the year. Surprisingly, HK being a small place and all, I hadn't seen him since. Until Saturday night. After an evening of avoiding contact with him, I was finally cornered at the bar. We chatted. We flirted. We snogged. This is, of course, all bad enough. But then it gets worse. We actually talked. We went for a walk. We ended up having breakfast. And so what could just have passed off as a drunken mistake of a snog (albeit for the second time) now strays into more of a connection... And that's where emotionally it starts getting dangerous....

So who should take the rap for this situation? My conscience is clear that, had he not found me at the bar, we wouldn't have talked and then nothing would have happened. However, at what point should I take responsibility? When he ordered me a drink? When he started telling me how "insanely attractive" he finds me (I know that's the beer shouting but really...), when he put his arm round me? When he suggested a walk on the Peak?

Naturally I've been trying to drown out the demon inner voices that have been blaming me for this episode..but damn it, if he hadn't made all the running then none of this would have happened. And I wonder now how culpable he feels, sharing a life with his wife who, God willing, knows nothing about this at all.....

Mad world......

2007-11-10T12:24:00.000+08:00

La Grande Poobah is just back from her autumn sojourn and straight back into the thick of HK life.

I've just spent a week diving and outrigging in Palau, a tiny island that's part of the Federated States of Micronesia. The trip was amazing - beautiful water, stunning corals, huge diversity of marine life (another shark..........now a manta ray......................endangered wrasse all over......). I was also on the receiving end of one of the worst chat up lines I've heard in a while (on Halloween....."trick or treat?" - which I chose to pretend not to understand at all. Sometimes it's just easier). The icing on the cake was sharing it all with good friends.

Trips like that are a great reminder of what's truly important.

Which is why picking up my post this morning gave me a tiny heart sink moment. Now, HK is proud of its commerciality, and particularly its rampant consumerism and consumption. It's not a place for restraint (or indeed good taste). This after all is the city that proudly exhorts you to "Wrap up in FABULOUS fur this season" despite the fact that it rarely dips below 15 degrees here.... However, a piece of dire marketing from my credit card company invites me to "Grow wealth to further savor the pleasure of shopping".

Er, hello? I shop therefore I am? Gimme a break.......

I want candy

2007-10-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

Like most 30 something single women I wonder occasionally (oh all right then, often) why it is that I'm still single? Is it just that I haven't met Mr Right yet or is it (whisper it) something about me??? And if it is (gasp) something about me, then is it a good thing that I won't be changing in a hurry (too successful, too clever, too darned attractive...you know the usual Cosmo guff) or something altogether darker (too difficult, too uncompromising, face like the back end of a bus) - the stuff my inner critic spews out, usually around 3 am when I wake in a Bridget Jones inspired panic.

Sometimes of course, I get a clear steer that it really might just be them. How, for example, could a guy I was briefly flirting with, oh, last December think that a random email saying "Do you have a bath?" would really light my fire?

And so you're back....from outer space....

2007-10-13T14:46:00.000+08:00

Or in fact, Beijing, capital of PRC, venue for next week's Communist Party meeting and, lest anyone forget, the host city for the 2008 Summer Olympics. Due to China's (mis)understanding about freedom of speech it was impossible to get onto a blogsite last week. Or the BBC news pages. But the Guardian site was OK so at least some unfiltered news got through the doubleplusgood nonsense peddled by their vetted media sources.

As an aside, my friends in Beijing tell me they just assume that they are watched, listened to and followed. Makes life easier, and at least then they don't get surprised when they find out it's happening.

It's no secret that the Chinese are immensly proud of hosting the Olympics, and are going all out to use them to show case China and its many economic and social achieivemetnts. An aspect of this that I find intriguing is that they are proud to show the world how calculating and planful their preparations are.

As an example, I was browsing yesterday's China Daily (makes the South China Morning Post and Straits Times look unbelievably racy). Inside was a huge glossy pull out about preparations for the games, including a two page spread on how women who wanted to be hostesses in the games are preparing for this honour. I imagine here they're talking about the chicks who hand out bouquets and carry cushions with medals on them, not the squads of, er, other hostesses who will no doubt be cashing in on the games too.

Preparation for being a hostess includes "smiling practice" to achieve the state mandated perfect smile that displays eight teeth. Eight because it's lucky?? possibly..... should you want to try this for yourself, then grip a chop stick between your gnashers (for up to 2 hours at a time) as this will train up the right muscle groups.

You might not want to try this on your commute into work.

Swing low, sweet chariot

2007-10-06T23:37:00.001+08:00

12 -10.

Nuff said.

Tee hee.

express yourself

2007-10-04T22:30:00.001+08:00

Libra
23 Sep-23 Oct
It's good to empathise - and with a huge circle of chums at that - but the first problems to solve are your own. Clearing up other people's woes can become mere displacement. Here are two reasons to get self-centred: your birthday Sun lets you do that polite-but-pushy thing Librans are so good at, and Mars promises a way more contested professional scenario. Compete!

Most "proper" psychologists are dismissive of phenomena such as coincidence, superstition, I Ching, horoscopes and what have you. Jung, on the other hand, treated them as human experineces which are as valid for study as any other. You could, I guess, see him as as forerunner of post modernism, where we all construct our own realities by reading meaning into our interpretations and perceptions of our lives. I like Jung.

All this is a long way round of saying that I read horoscopes. True, I'm fairly selective about the ones I go for (ones of the Mystic Meg ilk "a man in a purple track suit will be significant on Thursday" don't do it for me), and I reserve the right to ignore any news I don't want to acknowledge. Apart from that I treat them as gospel.

This one, as someone invovled in a "helping" profession struck a chord. Ignoring your own issues or needs and projecting them onto other people is a sure fire way of staying stuck in a never ending pattern of martyrdom (I've found).

No sleep 'til bedtime....

2007-10-02T17:55:00.000+08:00

October 1 is China National Day, and also my birthday. For as long as I'm in China, I will have a day off to celebrate, with fireworks thrown in over the harbour for free. All good.

And so it was that yesterday I set off on a junk with 30-odd friends (that's "about 30 friends" not "30 strange people" although it's sometimes a moot point) to celebrate properly. One of the things I noticed early on about Hong Kong is that it encourages extremes. Especially in the expat community.

The junk mored up at South Bay, where, rather than sun bathing and lounging around drinking beer, everyone launched into some sort of activity. One group took themselves off wakeboarding (sadly curtailed by gale force winds ripping the canopy off the boat), a small flotilla of human fish swam to some distant bay, a heavily pregnant woman elected to row a boat to the beach and I, not to be left out, took a canoe around the island. My English friend currently stationed in Beijing looked on all of this with a mixture of fascination and disbelief.....

our house, in the middle of our street

2007-09-29T18:43:00.001+08:00

Buying property in HK is an interesting process. Expats and locals tend to look for completely different things, which makes for an interesting market. Quirky old properties are a complete anathema to the average Hong Konger, who prefer brand new, high rise properties with lots of (tiny) rooms.

And so it was that I found myself viewing a 600 sq ft appartment that had 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a maid's room and, somehow, a grand piano squeezed into it.