it's just a bitter sweet, symphony that's life......

I've begun to notice that certain songs follow me around and pop up at the most opportune moments. You know, just when things are getting too much, or conversely you're surfing life's waves like you've never been knocked over in the swell (been spending too much time at the beach this weekend clearly) a song will appear from no where and remind me of a key lesson learned, unlearned and clearly up for being learned again.

The most poignant for me is the Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony", which has a habit of turning up like a charm whenever a big bout of melancholy is lurking around, waiting to pounce and bring me down for a day or so. Although the lyrics are, undoubtedly, mawkish, the irresistable string section pushing the song along plus the message that things might be a bit crap but really all you can do is pull your finger out and get on with it is simple yet effective.

As an example, about a year ago I finally woke up and realised that the "relationship" I was in was 100% no good for me. Why the lying, bullying and infidelity that had been going on for a year or more hadn't alerted me to this reality is best saved for another blog. Anyway, I finally plucked up the courage to DTMFA. After several bruising, angry, hurt conversations he went off to see his therapist and I retired to a bar to get heroically drunk. Finally accepting that the connection I thought we had was nothing, and that the only thing to do was move on, was unbearable.

Several glasses of wine and a torrent of tears later, J got in touch and came to find me. A different man from the angry bully I had left 2 hours previously walked into the bar. He sat down, ordered a drink and for the first time in months I sensed the intelligent, engaged and good man that I had fallen for in the first place. After a couple of minutes of tense silence he looked at me and remarked that he had "behaved without empathy towards me for the past year" and apologised. He was sad and I was sad.

As I left the bar and walked out into the inpersonal madness of London's Oxford Street, I turned my ipod onto shuffle, and, unbidden, Bittersweet Symphony flooded my head.